Being Positive is Tough!

As a parent you are expected to always be positive, happy go-lucky and love everything that you do in your life that involves your kids. When you are with you kids or even around other kids, or any human really you are expected to have a smile, have lots of gossip to share and happy stories. Is parenting really all positive and great fun though? A simple answer no; no it isn’t.

Being a mum, a parent is really tough. I am currently a stay at home mum andΒ  it is really tough, tougher than most jobs. You have to have a smile, willingness to do arts & crafts, answer 1000 questions, wipe bums, make snacks, do baking, colour, read books, play pretend, cook dinner, recook dinner as they changed their mind, and many other things.. all on a daily basis. You have to do all this while doing a dance or singing or whatever other thing your child enjoys and when they eventually go to bed and fall asleep you’re so mentally exhausted from keeping up this positive persona that you yourself are exhausted or you end up just sitting watching some mind numbing program on T.V.

Then when you see friends, especially friends who have children you are expected to gush to each other over how wonderful you children are, what new things they have learnt and just why they are simply amazing. All while showing them the latest pictures you have snapped of them, for your friend to then tell you how beautiful and wonderful your child and you do the same to them about their child. Just being honest here, but as much as I love my kids, I would love to not have to gush over them especially if I’m with a friend. In-fact I would love to be able to be open and tell them how I am really feeling, the struggles, share the lows as well as the highs. Recently though anytime I have mentioned a low to anyone they always come back with “Oh it will be fine”, “You never know, it will all be OK I bet” and all that positive cack. Now, I am one for trying to keep upbeat about all that I have going on but some-days I want to have a moan and a cry about how tough it is, and I want to have a friend who will talk to me like it is real life; For them to help me accept what is going on in my life. To help me accept it rather than fill my head with fluffy nonsense and denial.

I’m going through a lot with my family at the moment and I have really realized who is there for you and who just wants to be your friend when it suits them. I have lost several friends recently, but hey. There loss right? I told a friend once we had been to the CDC clinic about Dylan how it had went, that they would need to discuss special schools etc next time we went back as he was too young .. her reply “Can we please talk about something positive?” … I know right! Well I just didn’t reply. It really upset me, when I needed a friend to chat to and really let my feelings out too, they blew me off. Acted like I was complaining about a stubbed toe or something. There we go though, that’s another example of why being positive and why being expected to be positive is tough. I’m sure any parent could see how this would be a hard, upsetting and life changing thing for me, but yet my friend still expected me to be positive? I’m sorry but that just doesn’t make sense to me.

So next time you see a friend,your partner, your parent whoever it is you normally talk too, tell them how it really is.If your finding something tough tell them, if you need someone to rant, rave or cry at. Do it! Please do not hold it in. If you don’t have someone you feel comfortable to do that with, I’m here. I’ll be your someone to rant,rave and cry at. Don’t be afraid. Head to my Facebook page and message me and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. I hate to think of people holding all there true feelings in, these emotions and words that need out; let them out. Your mental health is very important, and if you go around always being positive, one day it will catch up with you, trust me.

I asked a few of my blogger friends; Why do you think being positive all the time is hard? Here is how they answered! =]

Amy who blogs at The smallest of things said- “Because sometimes they push me until I’m hanging over the edge!! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
(kids sure do have a good knack at doing that don’t they! They always know the right (or wrong buttons to press)

Jemma who blogsΒ here said- “It’s just so draining. It’s like wearing your fake smile for people you don’t like. You only have to do that for a little while if you see them, but with your kids it’s 12 hours a day-non stop!
Don’t get me wrong there are genuine positive moments but the majority aren’t true and soooooo tiring!
(I couldn’t agree more! That fake smile has to constantly be there. It isn’t fun always having to play pretend!)

Samantha at Porridge and Parenting answered- “Because it’s impossible to be positive 24/7. You could be the happiest person in the world whose glass is always half full but that is unsustainable all day every day for the rest of your life and essentially you are a parent all day every day for the rest of your life.”
(Too right, it is impossible! One day it will wear you thin if you keep up the act!)

Helen from mumatron says “I think it’s hard because it’s unnatural. It’s more normal to show a range of emotions.”
(It sure is! We were given emotions to show them, not to try and disguise them as this wonderful happy, positive person when we are feeling quite the opposite sometimes!)

Sarah who blogs at Whimsical Mumblings replied with- “I broke down into tears the other day in front of my children, and felt SO guilty. It’s hard not to show these emotions as well as they good ones. I honestly don’t think we should hide them though! Show your little ones it’s ok to express your emotions.”
(Don’t feel guilty Sarah, like you say yourself it is important for our little ones to see all the emotions that we have and understand that we can show them whenever we need to)

 

Do you find there is anything you feel you have to be positive about when you really don’t feel that way all the time?
WeeOhana xx

 

 

14 thoughts on “Being Positive is Tough!

  1. I love that you honoured the need to be authentic and heard and found another way to support it. I can so relate to that sense of how important it is to be able to speak honestly when life is hard. ❀️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I think it is OK to shoe emotions in front of children, after all it is natural and they will be learning to control theirs too. Parenting is hard work and has its rewards as well as lots of challenges

    Liked by 1 person

    • We all have to learn some way! πŸ™‚
      Oh parenting is very rewarding, you are bringing up this mini person who is very mouldable and sees you as the almighty!
      You make them who they are πŸ˜€

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  3. Parenting can be shit sometimes. Sorry to swear haha. I love J, I REALLY love J but sometimes I think ‘why me’. I’m very lucky to have understanding friends and family (well, most of them). Nice to know I’m not alone x

    Liked by 1 person

  4. A really interesting post. I have gone on (and continue to be on) my own journey with positivity over the past five years. I would say I have been raised to be a bit of a ‘glass half empty’ type, I was anxious and feared the worst. Then I moved to Australia where people seemed so positive, it was nice to be surrounded by but I felt I was being false but saying “it’s this all great all the time” when I didn’t feel it inside. And when i went through tough times, those pushing me to “look on the bright side” felt as though they weren’t giving any time or respect to my feelings. I have come round to the understanding that trying to seek gratitude as opposed to positivity can be really helpful. I now trying to focus on what i am grateful for, even if thats just that whatever I am going through will end, and there will be another moment where things can be better. Eternal positivity is surely impossible-we need the lows to give the highs there meaning #postsfromtheheart

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  5. We can’t be positive all the time and that is why I like the release of my blog. I can say life has been a bit shit on a particular day. I’m fortunate that I have understanding friends and they take the rough with the smooth just like I do with them. Great post but don’t feel you have to be positive all the time! #PostsFromTheHeart

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  6. Sending so much love. When you are feeling down is exactly when you need your friends to be there for you. It’s totally ok, positively necessary in fact to have a good moan now and then! I’ve been lucky with my second baby to find an amazing group of mums – we can gush with the best of them but we all know it’s ok to have a moan too. Keep looking and you will find a tribe that is worthy of you #PostsFromTheHeart

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