Since Dylan’s Autism has become a lot more obvious to others around us and after it being more or less confirmed at our last appointment there have been a few comments people have made that have bugged me. Especially from people who were ‘friends’ at the start of all this and then have slowly floated away because they just don’t want to know, think it will go away when he gets older… that’s for another blog post! But anyway… back to this one.
A couple of people have said to me “well, at least that means you can get DLA now.” Oh yes, fantastic. It’s going to solve all my problem, because I can pay to fix him… oh wait. No.
Yes, I do get DLA for him, it is because he needs that extra money to get him things that other children wouldn’t need and if you have ever looked at things for children with disabilities you will notice that as soon as you add the word, disability, sensory, autism, or any other words to what you are searching for it nearly triples in price. This really annoys me, as these children need these things, but I can also understand why places do it, people need these things so they can charge whatever they want for them and if you think it will benefit your child you will find a way to pay for it and get it for them no matter what.
To buy Dylan a pram that will do him for a while as he is obviously starting to outgrow his pram that he has now is £700+, private speech therapy is £40 a time, private occupation therapy is £50+ a time, you also hear about how music therapy, animal therapy, and many other things that really help autistic children. Especially at an early age as they say everywhere that early intervention is key with things like autism as it helps to break down barriers and make them more willing to join our world a little bit.
Some speech and occupational therapy is done for Dylan with the NHS but personally I’m really not sure how much once every 3-6 months really counts as early intervention. I know they have lots of children to see and I have been really impressed with everything they have done with Dylan how fast we are getting him seen etc, but a lot of this is because of how obvious his autism is. People say that I should be thankful that we are getting seen so quick and referred on… to me in a funny way, this shows how obvious and severe it is. (Another blog on this to be made too!)
Yes, it is good that we get DLA for Dylan, it takes away a little of the money stress, it means that we are ok for me to not go back to work like they suggested, and we can buy him what he needs and when he needs it because at every Speech & OT we go to they always suggest a whole heap of new toys and things to help him.
No, it doesn’t make it all “a little better” or even better at all. I am still in shock that some people think that money can make this better. Money will not provide a fix, it will provide things that help him live a little happier in our world, but it won’t make it all go away or make it all ok.
This is Dylan, and Dylan will always be autistic.
We love him though, just as much and even more so than others love their children.
We have to go above and beyond to help him, to teach him that interacting it good, even if it is just to give me his cup when he needs juice rather than just screaming.
We are starting to learn what his wants and needs are, or how to sense from just a tiny little thing that Dylan does means that he has had enough and needs to get away.
DLA though, does not make it all ok and if you think it does make it all ok for someone with a disabled child, then think again.
Can money really buy happiness and fix everything?
What is your answer to this now?