7

Treat Day!

We try to ensure that Amellia gets to go out at least once a month with one us to do whatever she wants. Sometimes she picks swimming, other times clothes shopping but something she always picks is to go out for dinner! She loves her food and unfortunately going out for dinner as a family is something that we don’t do very often at all as Dylan is not a good eater, and all the noises, bright lights, people and smells just send him into meltdown.
Before Dylan was even born this was something that we had decided we would make sure we did, I think its important for all children to get a chance to do whatever they want for a day, have all the attention on them and be made to feel as special and wonderful as they are!
It is even more important to us now with everything that we are going through with Dylan as I don’t want her to miss out on all the typical “kid” things that he wouldn’t particularly enjoy. I also don’t want her to grow up resenting her brother because she didn’t get to do things she wanted to because of him. We try our best to do things as a family but it is tough, and I don’t like taking her out and having to say her to her that if Dylan doesn’t like it we have to go. She is wonderful with him though because if I take them to the park and he starts to get  upset she will come over to me and say “ok mummy time to go!” As much as this is wonderful, it’s not fair on a five-year old.

On our day out she decided she wanted to start with lunch at Little Wing Pizzeria! What a wonderful little spot, I love it. I am simply a huge pizza fan and they make exceptionally delicious ones! When we sat down she was super excited to pick off the menu herself and then get to colouring it in! She chose the minestrone soup as she liked the sound of it coming in a cup! When it arrived it was super cute in a teeny tiny cup, and she dove right in. Unfortunately though she wasn’t a big fan of this soup but to make it an even better experience the girl serving us then got her dough sticks  instead which she quickly devoured! Not only was this fantastic customer service but when she brought her over the dough sticks she told Amellia that is was great to try new things and that she was a super girl for trying the soup!
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whilst we waited for our mains then we got a chance to colour in the menu, it was wonderful! They had little bits for you to draw what you thought certain things would eat and a picture for you to find other items in and colour them in, she had a lot of fun doing this and got really excited when she found the things we were looking for in the picture! She had lasagna for her main and she really loved it, she ate it all up and enjoyed it so much!


One of her favourite parts of the dinner was getting an ice cream and a little mini hot chocolate in another tiny little cup! Unfortunately I didn’t take any pictures of these but they were just adorable! She also loved the fact that she got to have coke with her lunch and thought it was super special that it was in a glass bottle and not a little plastic cup!
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She then wanted to do a spot of shopping, so we popped into a few of her favourite shops and picked up a few bits and pieces. We then headed home and told her daddy and brother all that we had been up to and how she can’t wait to go there again!

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Ohh, I forgot to also tell you how wonderfully delicious my dinner was from Little Wing too, one of my favourite things that they do is there spicy cheesy bread for starters! I then had one of their pizzas for main which was just super as always.. I can’t remember exactly what one it was..doh.. but I do remember that it was yummy! We will certainly be back soon, I can’t wait for my next day out with her.
She is simply wonderful and really does not get enough credit ❤

Do you try to take your kids out on their own if you have more than one?
What do they love to do?

WeeOhana xx

 

 

 

0

Learning Curve to friendship <3

Amellia has been working really hard on building up her relationship with Dylan. She understands that he is a little different to others and that he doesn’t enjoy touching, close contact or really playing with her. Though I’m sure you can see how this is very difficult for a five year old to have to understand, and to follow through with. This is especially hard for her as she is basically the polar opposite of Dylan!

She wants to shower him with love and care. She wants to play with him 24/7, kiss and cuddle him and have in-depth conversations about what they are building with the Duplo blocks.. but she has slowly learnt that this isn’t going to get her very high up in Dylans popularity list. When he was building she used to go over and try and help and he would get frustrated at her and hit out, I always found this very hard to watch and explain to her over and over again. She wasn’t doing it out of badness, she just wanted to play and engage with her brother like she would other children. Whenever she then came anywhere near him he would hit out, try to bite her, scream etc at her.. and he still does now but not to anywhere near the same extent. They are both learning how each other work. She knows that if she goes and does something he can’t explain to her he is happy by himself so he will shout or do something else to show her, he has also learnt that not every time she walks past him or sits near that she is going to interrupt what he is doing.

I have seen huge progress between them recently, like all of a sudden they have clicked. They understand each other that little better and she understands why he is a little different and has accepted that she needs to treat him a little differently. Friday, was a huge moment for them. We came down in the morning when they had both awoken and Dylan was pottering about and Amellia was waking up and doing some drawing on her ipad.. when Dylan tottered over to her and sat up beside her all of his own accord. She then handed him her Ipad by choice and showed him what she was doing. She knows he really enjoys drawing so straight away he started to draw, he then took his little hand and placed it on hers. The squeal of delight out of Amellia was just magical. She didn’t want to move and declared this day to me as “The best day in her whole life” This is something that she has been waiting for, for a very long time!
img_4845They then sat like this for the next ten-fifteen minutes swapping whoevers hand was on top, while I melted with happiness for my little girl. This is the connection that she has been dying to get from her little brother since he was born and finally her dreams were coming true ❤
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I had seen that the friendship was growing rather steadily recently, like something had just clicked. She seemed to know when he didn’t want fussed over but was very quick to jump in when he was in a playful mood or was doing something she could do along side him! She did a lot of running about the house beside him before he would even acknowledge that she was there, but now he is looking for her when he starts running about, its magical.

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The other day they had lots of fun out on the trampoline together and Dylan got very upset when she got off, so she then got back on and bounced with him again! Then before she left she handed him a bit of chalk to draw with a zipped the trampoline up so he couldn’t get off by himself! This showed to me that she understood his cry was for her to come back, she then found something to distract him before she left and she also made sure her little brother was safe and couldn’t get hurt.

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This was on Thursday, she had gotten into the car beside him, and as you can see by her face, she is being careful not to touch him too much with her arm! He stayed a minute or two longer then was ready to depart and go back to the trampoline. His most favorite thing in the garden!

They are slowly working each other out, but today has been a big step in the right direction. I couldn’t be more proud of them both. When you have your sibling who understands you and supports you, it can really help you along.  ❤

WeeOhana xx

0

Q & A for my five year old!

When my daughter was three I asked her some questions and the answers really made me giggle, You can check them out here! So I thought I would do it again today now she is 5 just to see how her answers had changed!
Here is the end result;

Without any prompting, ask your child these questions and write down exactly what they say. Its a great way to find out what they really think

1. What is something mum always says to you ?
Chicken
(Her nickname)

2. What makes you happy?
When daddy makes me laugh

3. How does mum make you laugh?
By being really silly

4. What makes mum sad?
When I don’t snuggle you

5. What was mum like as a child?
Cute

6. How old is mum?
21
(24)

7. How tall is mum?
Taller than me

8. What is mums favorite thing to do?
Having a mummy, daughter day

9. What does mum do when you’re not around?
Read her book

10. What is your mum really good at?
Looking after me & Dylan

11. What is mum not really good at?
Not good at making special breakfasts.. Daddy always does this

12. What does your mum do for a job?
Keeps me & Dylan happy

13. What is your mums favorite food?
Sandwiches

14. What makes you proud of your mum?
When she does magic tricks
(I didn’t know I could do magic tricks!)

15. What do you and your mum do together?
Have girly nights when daddy is at work

16. How are you and your mum the same?
We have brown hair and brown eyes

17. How are you and your mum different?
We dress differently

18. How do you know mum loves you?
Because she kisses me and gives me hugs and tells me

19. What does mum like most about dad?
He looks after me and Dylan good

20. Where’s mum favorite place to go?
Going to Next with me and buying me clothes

21. How old was mummy when she had you?
13
(19)

 

Why not ask your children and see what they say! Its pretty funny to hear there take on simple things! =] Let me know if you do I would love to check it out!
WeeOhana

2

Dear Husband..

Dear Husband;
You are simply amazing. I don’t tell you often enough how wonderful you are, how strong you keep us as a family unit and just how much I love you. This past year has been a very tough one for our family, life changing things have appeared that we never thought we would have to face. We have faced some real challenge as a couple learning to accept the things that have been thrown in our path. I feel that we are now a lot stronger than we were before, and we will continue to build up skywards, together.

I must admit at the start of all this we grew apart, drastically. It really scared me, I didn’t know how I would make it through all this without you by my side as support. I thought we were going down a long and horrible road, and we were going to have to do it apart. All of this coupled with my issues that I have, has been extremely scary, I felt very low and because of this started to push you even further away and I honestly don’t know how you stuck by my side. You didn’t deserve it, and it made us argue, disagree, row and everything else a happily married couple should not do. It was horrible, I hated myself more and more, but I just couldn’t get out of that rut. I still find some days tough and I’m sure you do too, even though being a manly man that you are you don’t admit it.

I am so glad now that we are stronger than we have ever been and that we tackling everything thrown at us together. You are my best friend, my soul mate, my shoulder to cry on, my companion, the one who laughs at my stupid jokes, helps me spell silly words that I just can’t grasp, you make me smile when it has been tough day, cuddle me when there just isn’t any words to explain what I am feeling or what is going on in my head. You make the world seem a little less scary, you hold my hand when times are tough, you help me relax when things are getting on top of me, you guide me when I just can’t guide myself, you make me feel beautiful even when I am wearing the same clothes that I had on when you left for work, you give me the confidence to carry on, you give me the strength to keep my head above water when it feels like I could so easily slip under and you make me feel loved; when I just can’t understand how anyone could.

I really can’t thank you enough for all that you do, you accepted me for who I am and took both me and my wonderful daughter under your wing and treat us like royalty (most of the time ;]) You are the greatest father I could ask for my children. You always put them first and make sure they are happy and have everything they could ever dream of.
We all really love you and couldn’t do this without you.
You, are simply incredible.
My 1 in 7 billion.
My best friend.
My husband.

14

Being Positive is Tough!

As a parent you are expected to always be positive, happy go-lucky and love everything that you do in your life that involves your kids. When you are with you kids or even around other kids, or any human really you are expected to have a smile, have lots of gossip to share and happy stories. Is parenting really all positive and great fun though? A simple answer no; no it isn’t.

Being a mum, a parent is really tough. I am currently a stay at home mum and  it is really tough, tougher than most jobs. You have to have a smile, willingness to do arts & crafts, answer 1000 questions, wipe bums, make snacks, do baking, colour, read books, play pretend, cook dinner, recook dinner as they changed their mind, and many other things.. all on a daily basis. You have to do all this while doing a dance or singing or whatever other thing your child enjoys and when they eventually go to bed and fall asleep you’re so mentally exhausted from keeping up this positive persona that you yourself are exhausted or you end up just sitting watching some mind numbing program on T.V.

Then when you see friends, especially friends who have children you are expected to gush to each other over how wonderful you children are, what new things they have learnt and just why they are simply amazing. All while showing them the latest pictures you have snapped of them, for your friend to then tell you how beautiful and wonderful your child and you do the same to them about their child. Just being honest here, but as much as I love my kids, I would love to not have to gush over them especially if I’m with a friend. In-fact I would love to be able to be open and tell them how I am really feeling, the struggles, share the lows as well as the highs. Recently though anytime I have mentioned a low to anyone they always come back with “Oh it will be fine”, “You never know, it will all be OK I bet” and all that positive cack. Now, I am one for trying to keep upbeat about all that I have going on but some-days I want to have a moan and a cry about how tough it is, and I want to have a friend who will talk to me like it is real life; For them to help me accept what is going on in my life. To help me accept it rather than fill my head with fluffy nonsense and denial.

I’m going through a lot with my family at the moment and I have really realized who is there for you and who just wants to be your friend when it suits them. I have lost several friends recently, but hey. There loss right? I told a friend once we had been to the CDC clinic about Dylan how it had went, that they would need to discuss special schools etc next time we went back as he was too young .. her reply “Can we please talk about something positive?” … I know right! Well I just didn’t reply. It really upset me, when I needed a friend to chat to and really let my feelings out too, they blew me off. Acted like I was complaining about a stubbed toe or something. There we go though, that’s another example of why being positive and why being expected to be positive is tough. I’m sure any parent could see how this would be a hard, upsetting and life changing thing for me, but yet my friend still expected me to be positive? I’m sorry but that just doesn’t make sense to me.

So next time you see a friend,your partner, your parent whoever it is you normally talk too, tell them how it really is.If your finding something tough tell them, if you need someone to rant, rave or cry at. Do it! Please do not hold it in. If you don’t have someone you feel comfortable to do that with, I’m here. I’ll be your someone to rant,rave and cry at. Don’t be afraid. Head to my Facebook page and message me and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. I hate to think of people holding all there true feelings in, these emotions and words that need out; let them out. Your mental health is very important, and if you go around always being positive, one day it will catch up with you, trust me.

I asked a few of my blogger friends; Why do you think being positive all the time is hard? Here is how they answered! =]

Amy who blogs at The smallest of things said- “Because sometimes they push me until I’m hanging over the edge!! 😂😂
(kids sure do have a good knack at doing that don’t they! They always know the right (or wrong buttons to press)

Jemma who blogs here said- “It’s just so draining. It’s like wearing your fake smile for people you don’t like. You only have to do that for a little while if you see them, but with your kids it’s 12 hours a day-non stop!
Don’t get me wrong there are genuine positive moments but the majority aren’t true and soooooo tiring!
(I couldn’t agree more! That fake smile has to constantly be there. It isn’t fun always having to play pretend!)

Samantha at Porridge and Parenting answered- “Because it’s impossible to be positive 24/7. You could be the happiest person in the world whose glass is always half full but that is unsustainable all day every day for the rest of your life and essentially you are a parent all day every day for the rest of your life.”
(Too right, it is impossible! One day it will wear you thin if you keep up the act!)

Helen from mumatron says “I think it’s hard because it’s unnatural. It’s more normal to show a range of emotions.”
(It sure is! We were given emotions to show them, not to try and disguise them as this wonderful happy, positive person when we are feeling quite the opposite sometimes!)

Sarah who blogs at Whimsical Mumblings replied with- “I broke down into tears the other day in front of my children, and felt SO guilty. It’s hard not to show these emotions as well as they good ones. I honestly don’t think we should hide them though! Show your little ones it’s ok to express your emotions.”
(Don’t feel guilty Sarah, like you say yourself it is important for our little ones to see all the emotions that we have and understand that we can show them whenever we need to)

 

Do you find there is anything you feel you have to be positive about when you really don’t feel that way all the time?
WeeOhana xx

 

 

0

Time Apart!

I think whenever you have more than one child it is important to make sure they get to spend time with you separately and for things that fit there age or wants as well! Especially whenever one of the children in your family has a special need, as it really does effect everyone’s life in the family. I always find myself feeling guilty because whenever I take my pair out together it is aways known that if Dylan isn’t happy we will have to leave. As much as this isn’t fair on my little girl, it is what has to happen. She is very good and if Dylan isn’t happy whenever we get somewhere she knows that she gets five minuites then it is time to go. Unless I’m  having a day where I want to take on the world and can ignore the looks. I always feel incredibly guilty when we have to leave, especialy if we haven’t been there long.. i think it is hard as a mum as well to accept that your child doesn’t really enjoy what the majoirty of children love. A trip to the local park can be upsetting for both my children, as it could be too nosey/buzy etc for Dylan which then means we have to leave. It is also then upsetting for me as I then feel bad that my little girl has had to be disappointed etc! Though I am very good at keeping a strong front on infront of the kids!

My husband and myself decided that in the new year we would try and do things seperatly at least once a month with my little girl, as she loves things such as going out for dinner, going to the cinema or going shopping for some new clothes! These are some of the top things that my little boy really struggles with, but it isn’t fair for her not to experience these because of that! This month it was my turn, so I decided that I would actually bring her down to see my mum and dads new house in Dublin! Obviously this is something that I wish we could enjoy as a family, exploring a new city/parks/shops/restuarants/musuems but he really wouldn’t be able to cope at all, espeically with staying somewhere unfamiliar too! Hubby had the weekend off so me and my wonderful daughter headed off!

We have had a fantastic time! The drive down is approx two hours long, and she decided to chat the whole drive down. It was wonderful, we chatted about such a range of things, from why there was a tractor on the road to how come they hadn’t  invented time travel yet so that we could just appear at nanny annd grampys without having to sit still for so long! (Sitting still isn’t her strong point!) Once we got to my mum and dads it was bed time really, but not without a tour around the house and some food to fill her little belly!

The next day we all headed out for a walk around the park and to get some breakfast! It was a lot colder than we expected though so we really didn’t get too much of a walk done before everyone thought there hands were going to fall off! We then found a little market and got a crepe for breakfast and picked up some rather wonderful Macarons handmade by a little French woman, they were incredible! I am actually pretty annoyed I only bought one box of them and wish I had got another box to take home with me! They were just super scrummy! 


It was then home time to warm up and let grampy watch the rugby! We spent this time drawing lots of pictures, watching videos on the ipad and chatting to nanny about everything that crossed our minds! After the rugby was over and we were all bathed and ready we went out for some dinner! We went to a lovely little Chinese down the road, which served food nice and quick (perfect for kids!) it was also really tasty too so it was a winner! 

Today we got up and thought it didn’t look as cold as yesterday, so headed off to the beach for a walk.. wha a terrible idea! If you have me on instagram you will have seen how windy it was! If you haven’t you should add me, I would love a few new followers and people to follow! =] ;] (weeohana) << my instagram

After the beech we went to a park and for some lunch! We then popped to a nice little shop and picked up some dinner and Amellia loved looking at all the fish they had there for sale! 


It was then home time and Grampy had more rugby to watch! But not before playing a little!


We then headed to our room and snuggled on the bed while everyone else was busy. I really enjoyed the time just laying there together and relaxing, something me and her never get t0 do anymore! Tomorrow we are heading home and I really look forward to the conversations we have in the car on the way home! Also to get home and give Dylan a really big snuggle,and my hubby of course 😛 

Hope you all have had a wonderful weekend and have a good week! 

WeeOhana xx 

2

Soft Play & Lunch

This weekend I was feeling brave, so as my hubby was working I decided to brave a little soft play that is close to us.. I thought with it being a Sunday morning it would have been pretty quiet and would hopefully let me little man come round to it ok before it got to busy and that my little girl could waste some of her every lasting energy that she seems to run on! It is a pretty nice little soft play area it has a little bit for little ones, then has the bigger part for all the bigger ones to run around in, which is good though is that the bigger part isn’t that big and you can see it all from the smaller bit. I feel a lot happier when being there with the both of them by myself as it means I can keep an eye on them both.. though generally my little girl is running about talking and yelling in full volume so I normally hear her first!

When we first got there it wasn’t as quiet as I expected. I had told my little girl that we would stay at least half an hour, but if little man really didn’t like it after that we would have to go and we would do arts and craft when we got home. It took him a while to settle down, but with a bit of encouragement,persuasion, and letting him settle down in his own time, he started to enjoy himself. It only took twenty minutes.. the stares were there, the judgement from others was but I ignored the glares and judgement and kept myself calm to help calm him. It was tough to ignore them, but I had to not only for my little boy but also so that my wonderful ball of energy princess could waste some energy too!

I put him down the slide but he was starting to get unsettled again, he came over and took my hand and walked me over to the ball pit. At first I really didn’t want to get in and tried to persuade him to go in by himself.. but he really wasn’t happy. I decided again to ignore all the looks and get into the ball pit so that he would enjoy himself! Every child deserves to enjoy themselves! When I had decided I was there for my two to have fun, I just forgot everyone around us and had fun!

img_2302-2The ball pit was super and he would have stayed in there all day!
img_2297-1We then ventured up to the bigger part and took on the bridges/wobbly floors/bigger slides etc. He had so much fun, though he wasnt to convinced that the bridge was safe by the looks of that face!

We all lasted the full two hours! It was wonderful, and something I will have to do again with them whenever I am feeling brave and like I could take on the world despite all the looks! I guess it is something I am just going to have to get used too, one step at a time I will learn to deal with this!

When we left he went to sleep in the car on the way home, so me and my little girl decided that we would pop to the cafe close to our house and enjoy a “girly” lunch with him fast asleep! She got a milkshake and toast with a fried egg and I got a very tasty panini. When she had finished she decided that she was still hungry and needed another fried egg and more toast, so while she ate that up I treated myself to a caramel brownie.

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We all had a lovely day out and when we got home we did some lovely coloring together!

Sometimes you have to break down your own barriers to be able to help those around you. I’m working real hard on this.. taking it day by day. I’m not forcing myself to do anything I don’t feel I can as that just puts me back a step.. I’m just trying to be more positive and to ignore those who don’t know my situation and are judging without any knowledge.

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WeeOhana xx