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Pregnancy, Christmas & fun!

I really can’t get any inspiration on what to blog about…or inspiration to do anything for that matter.. But hey! Suppose that’s what the final run of pregnancy is like! Feeling like a beached whale at the moment! Just feel so large and heavy! on he final count down now! Tomorrow I will be 35 weeks, so 5 weeks till my due date, but baby is measuring 2+ weeks bigger, so I am up again on the first of December for another scan! The consultant also said she would check me to see if my body is ready to go into labour and if I am give me the sweep and possibly break my waters too if I am! So that’s pretty exciting! Means baby will be measuring 39+ if he keeps growing at the rate he is, so least that means he will be a healthy weight! They are doing it early for me because of the pain from my spd and because he is measuring big, the lady seemed quite concerned with his size considering that I am normally quite a small girl, she said that I have small hips etc, so him being large will be why I am so sore! I’m super excited to think that in less then three weeks I may have my baby in my arms! How mad is that.. I am so not ready.. But I don’t think I will be now until he is born! We have everything that we need for him ready and waiting now! It’s just a mater of getting him here! πŸ˜€ writing about it is actually getting me a little bit excited! Recently though I have had a few bouts of braxton hicks.. Which are for anyone who is unaware, like practice contractions so to speak! So apparently that shows that my body is ready! It also makes the whole giving birth thing and the pain sink in… I’m buggered I think the hubby is in for a real shock! Could see he was finding it hard and he didn’t want to leave when I was having a few BH, which is ever so lovely! πŸ™‚ made me feel a little bit special though I did make him go to work, as will need all the help after and don’t want to waste his precious days off! He is such a super star, was at my mum and dads house today as he had worked nights and came home to the house sparkling! I really don’t give him enough credit for all that he does, I do adore him so much πŸ™‚

The other day me and my little one made chocolate croissants for us all to have as breakfast! It was actually lovely all just sitting down and having breakfast together and she had such a laugh making them.. We did cheat a bit, it was a pack type idea where you just added the chocolate and rolled them up! Though it was scrummy and lots of fun for her! She loves baking and we did used to do it quite a bit together, but obviously at the moment it is quite hard to do this by myself, without a little one running about! The last time we properly baked together she poured flour all over the kitchen floor and had a blast making little foot prints in it.. So I think I’ll leave baking with her again for when the little one is here and having a nap! Then if she does decide to pour flour everywhere we can have a bit of a laugh in it rather than me panicking at how to clear it up when I can’t really brush the kitchen floor at the moment!

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We are getting all excited about Christmas in our house at the moment! Mainly because of everywhere you go there is a Christmas tree, tinsel, Christmas decorations etc! Also it’s the first Christmas where my little angel understands (more or less) the whole Santa idea, presents, decorating and the likes! Today we went to a shopping centre to grab a few bits.. Every shop window she had to stop and excitedly jump up and down on the spot at the snowman, Santa, gingerbread man, lights or anything at all Christmassy! It did mean it took us a while to get to the bits we wanted to actually do, but it was so beautiful seeing how excited she got and how amazing it must be to be that small, young and innocent! It also though must feel like Christmas takes forever.. Because it is in the shops forever before Santa comes! It’s a bit depressing for me, I already have all her presents wrapped, and a few for baby brother so that she doesn’t ask why Santa didn’t come! Normally I am an Xmas eve/week wrapper and love wrapping them in front of a Christmas movie, with the fire on and a little drink! Obviously this year I couldn’t leave it to do that, just incase they decide they don’t want to induce me and baby decides to be very untimely and come on Christmas Eve or close! It also means that I won’t have to be worrying about wrapping when I have a tiny baby, or sitting on the floor etc.. Which those of us who have had babies know isn’t the comfiest of things to do πŸ˜‰ all her things are wrapped and safe in a bag, so I can just say to anyone to grab them tv just incase I can’t! Which would be horrible, but I’ll deal with that when and if it happens!

We have our Christmas tree going up day all planned! 30th of November! πŸ˜€ mainly because If I do go in on the first and there like yeah, your having a baby tomorrow or whatever I don’t have to worry about that when we get home.. Also because I can’t wait and the little one is super excited! The next time hubby is off we are going to go up to the disney store and purchasing some new cute decorations, then depending on how I feel maybe hunt out a few other cute bits and pieces! On the note of Christmas decorations.. I got the cutest Mickey Mouse nut cracker the other day off Amazon! He is amazing.. Though I don’t think he would serve much purpose as a nut cracker.. So I’m glad I bought him as a decoration! πŸ˜€ He is going to be one of those decorations that you keep for years and bring out every year! We aren’t ones to have a colour coordinated Christmas tree, we just go for complete and utter random ones, and ones that mean things to us and so forth! we really need a new artificial Christmas tree, but going to have to wait till next year for that as obviously have a few more important things this year πŸ˜‰
What do you think of Mickey Mouse then? I’m in love πŸ˜‰
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I hope you have all been keeping well?
When will you be putting up your Christmas tree?
Oh and here’s my most recent paper cut! Not very Christmassy.. but I think its cute! What about you??
Weeohana xxx

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Guilt & pain

How have we all been?
I’m currently in bed, over joyed that my little one is back to sleeping through the night again rather than her waking at 3:30am fun she was doing recently! Unfortunately not a lot can be said about my sleep.. I seem to wake up every half hour and then try to get comfy for half hour.. Then the same routine again, and again! Which as I’m sure you are aware.. Isn’t fun! It’s leaving me tired and even more down in the dumps with this pain as I’m exhausted and in a great deal of pain try to entertain my nearly three year old!

I have restored to doing a lot of sticker books with her, or just sticking stickers on a page! She loves it, and will actually sit still and do this! She isn’t much of a grade A at sitting still.. But stickers seem to be one thing that she doesn’t mind sitting to do! It’s fab because it means she can sit beside me on the sofa and do it, so I’m semi comfortable.. And she’s not running about like a looney while I sit and feel useless because I can’t chase her about the house and so forth like I normally would have done! I have been quite impressed at how well she is able to find where what sticker goes and how precise she is at putting it down the right way and covering all the white! She will have several attempts to make sure she gets it just right! She’s such a wee star, fingers crossed she keeps it up when this baby comes πŸ™‚

I’m starting to feel really guilty, but I’m sure it’s probably normal.. I’m in a great deal of pain at the moment with this spd, I have constant pain all night and all day, even if I take painkillers. So what’s the point in taking them if they will only make the pain go a tiny bit and will also mean that baby will be dependant on them and I will have an extremely grouchy baby! If they made me pain free I would probably be more willing to take them, but they don’t, I still can’t do much when I take them, so what’s the point! Anyway.. I feel guilty because instead of counting down the days/weeks until baby is here, I’m now counting down until the pain is gone.. I’m feeling more excited about the pain going away than my baby being here :/ I’m sure it’s normal for people who have suffered from this or some other pain … Or at least I hope because I’m starting to feel really mean! I’m really beating myself up about it at the moment and can’t seem to rid the thought from my mind, it’s terrible.. This is meant to be an exciting time where it all slows down because baby is coming soon and because you just can’t wait to have your baby! Time has slowed down for me because if no one comes round, I’m stuck in the house all day, I’m sick and tired of this pain, I literally am tired of this pain because it is preventing me from sleeping and I am constantly exhausted.. I’ll probably get more sleep when the baby is actually here and this pain has gone!

Also walking about like a flipping penguin and getting people looking at me funny isn’t the nicest of things.. Went to the shopping centre today to get some food and so forth.. Took me nearly triple the time to walk through the place than normal! Ahh!!

I have been signed off work, so there is so much I want to do around the house… Nesting is really kicking in! Wanna know the worst part about it… I can’t blooming do anything! Putting a wash on/sorting a wash is a very long processes at the moment as I have to stop several times because of pain! A task that would normally take 2 minutes now takes about an hour… An hour to sort and put a wash on.. Joys. I want to be sorting my little girls room and going through all the baby stuff to see if we need anything more and going out to buy all pretty paints and getting excited about painting new rooms… But I just can’t get excited about it.. Infact, it upsets me even thinking about doing those things.. Because I physically can’t paint, or sort.. And with going to choose the paint, hey that will be another trip out with pain involved! Though j suppose sitting in the house in pain, or going out isn’t much different!

I think it’s quite hard for someone who hasn’t been in this position to understand what it’s like .. To be going from being able to do everything, to near enough nothing. It’s actually really upsetting, and if I beat myself up about it and blame myself much more.. I’m gonna end up locking myself in a room till this baby is here and hiding from the world! I have a funny feeling though it’s going to make me even more protective of the baby and letting people hold him, just because it will have been such a long awaited thing to get him out so I can be pain free and because *fingers crossed* I’ll finally be able to do stuff again and will want to do it all after having felt so useless recently!

.. Anyway I’ll stop ranting as I can hear my little girl awakening and seeing as it takes me a long time to get it of bed.. I may as well start before she starts shouting!!
I hope your all better than me!
Love; WeeOhana x