18

The Start of a Long Journey

I’m not really sure what to write, or how to phrase what I write really, I just know that I need to write it somewhere as a place to get it out and as a sort of journal for what all is about to begin. Currently we are just starting a long journey with our handsome son to see what is going on with him. Our first step is Monday when he is getting seen by the audiologist.

I’ve had my worries about him for a while, but it took me  until a few months to convince myself that I wasn’t just being silly and there was something going on. I then decided to book a doctors appointment and went armed with a list of my worries and concerns about what was going on with him. I felt like a crazy mum going in with a list, but the doctor there knows me well, was very welcoming and told me he was glad I had a list so that I didn’t forget anything. So after him checking over my little monkeys ears/throat etc we discussed what I was worried about, he decided that we needed to get the health visitor over to see him asap and to get the ball rolling to sort things out with him. One thing he said that really got to me was that “he will either progress from here, or start to go backwards.”

After speaking to my doctor I was hoping to have a weight lifted off my shoulders and him telling me that I was just being silly, not to rush him and so forth but as you can tell, thats not how it went. I came home and got on the phone to the health visitor to get her to come and sort us out. I had to wait a week until she was available to come over, and I’m sure a lot of you reading this are parents and you know how long a week feels when you are in panic and upset about your child.. little did I know the waiting time of a week was the shortest I would endure in this process.

When she arrived she asked me what my worries and concerns were and we got to have a good chat as he was having a little nap. My worries were.. I suppose still are!

  • He doesn’t respond to his name, no matter how loud you shout it. Though hears things like doors creaking etc. At the start I was worried he was deaf, until I realized it was more a selective hearing thing. (this is getting checked on Monday though as they have to clear his hearing before checking everything else)
  • He is 21 months and doesn’t say a word, he babbles a bit, but no words or sounds that mean anything to him. He used to say dada/dog etc and knew what they meant.. now they have disappeared.
  • He tiptoe walks, a lot. Like right up nearly as high as he can get.
  • Extremely fussy with the foods he eats.. Doesn’t really like lumps or bumps in his food.
  • Doesn’t brings toys over to show me/his dad or his sister
  • Isn’t keen on his sister sitting beside him, when she does he will try to bite her/pull her hair.
  • Very little eye contact, or response to emotions from others.
  • Head banging against a wall/floor (very upsetting to experience =()

As I told her these she asked me had I been on google and were these all big worries or just little things.. when I told her that I used to work with children with additional needs she started to listen a little more, and then when he woke up and demonstrated to her several of these things she then said that I was right to have a list written. She then plowed on to serious mode.. She told me that she hoped she would come here and see him and tell me that she would come back and see him in a few more months and that he would grow out of the things he did. Unfortunately she told me this wasn’t the case and she wanted to write down reports etc and get them sent off that night to get him on the list to be seen by the child developmental team as soon as possible. . This was at the start of July.

I have had a lot of time to take it all in, think things over and over again, worry, get upset, get annoyed and most emotions possible really. This is a real tough thing to be going through and to be left in the dark with when the ball will start rolling. I have his audio on Monday so at least that is something but I am yet to have an appointment from the child developmental team. I am going to ask them when I am in on Monday if they have a clue about time frame.. I think the not knowing when it is all going to start is the hardest.. Especially when I know that when the ball has started rolling it wont be straight forward and that it will be a long time after many appointments to know what is going on.

As his mum, I just want to make it all ok everything be fine and one day for him to wake and to have came on leaps and bounds. Be talking and everything.. but as the days and weeks go past, I know that wont be anytime soon. It hurts a lot, but I have to keep my brave face on, keep smiling and positive for my family.

One thing I have found through all this though is that you constantly seem to be on the look out for things that are different/worrying/wrong etc.. So I have tried to concentrate on the positive and enjoy what makes him, him. The way when he laughs, its from deep within him, he has the most wonderful and infections laugh and when you have discovered what makes him laugh you can do it 1000 times over and he will find it just as funny as he did the first time! How when you hand him something new he will inspect it in great detail, turning it over and over again in his hands looking at all the tiny little details on it. That he empties out the whole box of hot wheels to find the one with the red roof and then will grab any other one to have one in each hand.. then will go to the table and play with them for ages without anything distracting.. unless his sister goes near him! 😛  That he will pick the tiny bits off the carpet and place them in my hand and will do this until he thinks they have all gone! When he climbs up beside his sister and for the brief moment will sit beside her and how excited and happy she gets by this, and how at the park he will find a bridge, and go back and forth across this bridge the whole time we spend there chuckling away to himself. He does a whole load more that makes me so proud and privileged to have him as my wonderful son. I love him, and I always will, no matter what the outcome is.

WeeOhana. xx

 

5

Candyfloss, doctors, holiday!

I would like to start with an apology! I started off really well blogging every night, then on the weekend I was away on holiday and before that I started to get excruciating pain so was trying to get that sorted and with runs to the doctors and so forth I just couldn’t find the time to blog as was exhausted at the end of the day!

So would you like the happy holiday bit or pain bit explained first?
I think I’ll go for the pain first then end with the happy bit!

I started back to work at the start of September when the kids all came back from summer, I can’t remember if I have said before but I am a classroom assistant! Not the most strenuous of jobs but it has sent me on a downward spiral! I first of all got a pm extremely itchy rash and went to the doctors to be told that it could be my liver and baby may need to be delivered soon, which of course made me painc! Though the doctor told me to keep calm and wait for blood test results.. They came back all clear thankfully minus a High white blood cell count, which is a sign of infection so doctor said the rash must just be a wee viral thing and that’s why they were high. This was great relief, and thankfully the itching has gone away a lot now but still is there, though isn’t affecting me at all compared to my new problem! I have been told I have pelvic girdle pain / symphysis pubis dysfunction (SPD). To anyone who hasn’t experienced this when pregnant, you are so lucky! To anyone that has.. Hello my fellow penguins! I currently feel so useless.. I can’t even drive or lift my little one onto the toilet which of course for a recently toilet trained little one doesn’t make life too easy! It is such an excruciating pain! I have today been to physio and been given a very attractive large tubugrip to hold me together! It seriously feels like my hip is just gonna fall out of place at times! I am back next week for her to asses how it is helping or not and what next steps to take! She told me the joyful news that they can’t stop the pain, and yes it is going to get worse but they can give me things to help ease it.. Just the news I wanted! At least I’m in the final stretch now, but it’s going to be the longest 12 weeks ever with this pain and being basically stuck at home constantly when the other half is in work! I think it started when I went back to work as you are constantly bending down to small tables, sitting on small chairs, running back and forth to the photocopier etc! So I have been signed off work now till my maternity leave starts! I really dislike the feeling of being so useless to my little one.. I can’t even take her to the park.. And trust me my little one has a load of energy and needs to waste it somewhere so her being stuck in a house with a crippled mummy isn’t to fun for her either! She asks me every morning am I better yet, and feeds me sweets to make me better! Getting fed sweets is awesome.. But still heartbreaking seeing how upset she gets about and how desperate she is to make me better! Anyone else experienced this and care to share a few tips in coping!? I’m open to try everything!!

Onto the happiness and to stop whinging! My parents, me, the hubby and my little one had booked a long weekend away, before all this started and I didn’t wanna change or cancel it, as going away is far more relaxing than being at home anyway! It was a three hour drive and with a couple of stops along the way we all made it safe and sound! We went to a fantastic family friendly hotel, they had a play park, a soft play room and lovely surroundings which is just perfect for little ones! Oh and a swimming pool which she had an absolute blast in with my dad! We went to a little town close by that had an aquarium, and we were lucky enough to go a day that the octonauts were there! My little one adored it as would most two year olds that have seen this program! There was question all through the aquarium, you got to touch a starfish, and finally meet them! Oh and not to forget seeing nemo was a big highlight too! It was luckily enough a lovely sunny day after so we went for a short walk (as that’s all I could manage unfortunately) and got some candy Floss! I’ll put pictures below to show how much it was enjoyed!
Then the next day me and my mum got a lovely wee treatment in the spa and it was super relaxing and very nice as I didn’t have to move to much! Lol! My hubby took the little one to the play park and for a lovely walk too so she had a ball while I was getting pampered so it made it even nicer!

What I love the most about family friendly hotels with lots of family’s in them is that when you are at the restaurant which is done quite fancy with fancy food, and a great kids menu (batman burger, flounders fish fingers etc) there were also lots of other family’s with little ones! So you don’t kind if they are a little noiser, doesn’t put you on edge and super nervous of your little one spoiling someone else’s romantic dinner as they sat the couples and people without kids in a different area! By the end of the meal all of the kids from all the tables ended up sitting in a circle playing with there sticker books and colouring in! We then arranged to see a few of them in the swimming pool the next morning, so it was jut lovely for all the kids! Meant the kids enjoyed dinner and the adults got to chat a bit with who they had come with while they were entertained by each other! Or was a fantastic hotel and a lovely weekend! Just wish I hadn’t have been so sore so I could have enjoyed it a bit more! Amellia keeps asking for Grampy to take her back though so she enjoyed and that’s all that matters!

Here are the candy floss pictures! Sorry it has been a while and going to be back to blogging frequently again, especially seeing as I’m off work now and sitting about a lot! Hope you are all well! 🙂 WeeOhana!!

IMG_0054.JPG

IMG_0053.JPG