1

Feeling Strange..

I’m still feeling slightly strange about the whole thing, I’m not really sure how I feel about it. I suppose because we have been told by so many professionals in the past two years that Dylan is autistic but they just couldn’t officially diagnosis it we were very ready to get the day over and done with when it all became official.

When we were told at the diagnosis I didn’t know if I wanted to do a happy dance that we had finally got it all over and done with and could now move forward or cry that it was official and that the others hadn’t all been mistaken.

At the moment I’m feeling pretty numb to feelings I suppose. Sort of floating like I’m not too sure what to think of it all, trying to process it all and gather my thoughts but this week has been crazy with appointments and I really haven’t had time to process it before having more things thrown at me that I’m trying to process too.. life is not easy being a mum!
I am sure I will catch a break shortly and be able to think it all through but for now I’m keeping on going and making sure that everything is going right for my kids and that my hubby is happy.

When going through things like this communication is key, he knows if he feels unhappy, or anything at all that I am here for him no matter what and I know that he is there for me too.
Our kids are our world, but obviously these things take time to process and adjust too. We will get there together and be stronger than ever before, because if we don’t communicate through this all we will fall apart.

0

Small things that mean so much!

<meta name=”p:domain_verify” content=”4e82d4765cd042e1acd3cfc6ca4a7218″/>

To some this wouldn’t seem like such a big thing, to me and my family it was huge and wonderful!

My little girl was sitting eating her breakfast as normal at her little red table in the kitchen, she had decided that she wanted Rice Krispies with no milk on them. Little man was happy pottering about after having his very runny and no lumps porridge, then he walked up to see what his sister was eating. I was just about to move him away before he decided that his sister was better eating her Rice Krispies one by one off the floor but he was watching her eat them very closely so I thought I would wait and see! He then swiftly pushed her off the seat and sat down on it and just as I was about to intervene he picked up the spoon and started eating the Rice Krispies! Eating them like he had done it every morning!

I was so stunned! I was waiting for my little girl to stand up and starting shouting about how he was eating her breakfast and the such, but she stood up and started to clap and shout about how Dylan was eating proper food and was using a spoon! She thought it was just fantastic and ran upstairs to get her daddy to come and see, he came running downstairs and we all cheered and clapped him while telling him he was such a clever boy! He took no notice of us and continued to eat and eat, until the whole bowl was empty! What an incredible day, it was just simply wonderful! I couldn’t believe it, we couldn’t believe it. It has given me great hope for the future and his eating! We have to take it step by step and at his speed and he will hopefully continue to show us like today when he is ready to try something new!

It reminded me of something that I have been saying a lot recently; that every child,every adult has there own goals to meet and there own milestones. If we all met our milestones at the same time, life would be very boring wouldn’t it!
No matter how big or small your goals seem to others for you or you children, they are worth celebrating and being very proud of. Some people wont ever understand, but they aren’t worth worrying about for two seconds.

Today I am celebrating and rejoicing in my little man trying a new food, and using a spoon all out of his own choice! =D What a wonderful day!
What are you celebrating today? =]

WeeOhana x

<a href=”https://www.bloglovin.com/blog/12881273/?claim=3vcbkyqgnuy”>Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

5

Hearing & Doubts..

I am never going to take either of my children to a hearing test again… though lets start from the start of a very eventful day.

The night before I hardly slept, so many thoughts running through my head. Worries,wonders,what ifs, hows and all those lovely thoughts us parents are subjected too. His appointment also wasn’t until the afternoon, so I filled the morning the best I could to keep myself and him busy. Why though when you want time to go fast it goes slower than you ever thought possible!Β  We started off having a little look in shops and picking something up for dinner then we decided to head to a forest park for a little walk!
When we pulled up to the park, he decided it was the perfect time to fall asleep so I enjoyed the peace. Peace from the outside I suppose though as I was having a million thoughts a minutes that ended up with a really sore head.. typical. When he woke up we went for a little walk around the forest, he thoroughly enjoyed himself and so did I.

Then it was on-wards to his appointment. How downhill it went from there, the waiting room was full. Every seat was taken and lots of children running about and shouting. Not something I particularly enjoy and neither does he, as soon as we went in he couldn’t handle it. Bright light, lots of people, noise, banging, and pushing. I set him on my lap and talked to him gently in his ear to try and keep him settled the best I could, unfortunately it was all just too much. (He has started to hit himself in the mouth with his hand when he is distressed) On the outside and to onlookers he seemed calm at the start until he started doing this and I was trying to stop him. He kept going and going and more people started to look and one child asked there mum why he was doing it, then he did it so hard he ended up making his mouth bleed, and not even just a little bit. I scooped him up and went on the search for the bathroom to clean him and myself up, so that when we went into the hearing test he would be calm and ready to do whatever they needed. As soon as I had him cleaned up I heard his name being called so off we went down the hallway to see how his hearing was.

It was going lovely, they started with him sitting on my knee and then they rang bells behind him and lots of other things making strange noises and he turned to the majority of them and stilled to others, it was all going so well! The lady told me she was satisfied with his hearing and that he definitely didn’t have any severe hearing problems but she wanted to do another test just to make sure.. little did I know this was more a form of torture.. I had to hold him still while she poked this thing into his ear and did a test. He did not like this one bit, neither did I. He screamed, cried, kicked, bit.. it was horrific. I calmed him down when we left got into the car and he was laughing and smiling, but I had to have a cry. I felt horrible, thought he would hate me .. but he had forgotten about it. Little does he know that she wants me to take him back in three months as she couldn’t do that test properly as he was screaming so loud.. I am not looking forward to that.

Great news is that he isn’t deaf.. though I can’t quite decide if it is great news..
I keep thinking that if he was deaf there are so many things that they can do to solve this, and ahh.. I’m really finding this all so difficult to handle. I suppose that is natural though right? I’m trying to keep my head above water, with a happy face ..I don’t know how swell I’m doing at that part.. its hard to keep yourself a float and everyone else as well.. its tough, its really tough. I must keep going.. on a positive note, we got his appointment for the child developmental team and it is on the 9th of November! So a lot sooner than I expected. which is great news! Less time to over think.. though panic because its so soon!
Answers, or at least some guidance and support is what I need right now. I need to know what I am doing with him is right, that I’m not a terrible mother and it isn’t all my fault.. though I’m not sure those feelings will ever budge..

WeeOhana xxx