2

Dear Husband..

Dear Husband;
You are simply amazing. I don’t tell you often enough how wonderful you are, how strong you keep us as a family unit and just how much I love you. This past year has been a very tough one for our family, life changing things have appeared that we never thought we would have to face. We have faced some real challenge as a couple learning to accept the things that have been thrown in our path. I feel that we are now a lot stronger than we were before, and we will continue to build up skywards, together.

I must admit at the start of all this we grew apart, drastically. It really scared me, I didn’t know how I would make it through all this without you by my side as support. I thought we were going down a long and horrible road, and we were going to have to do it apart. All of this coupled with my issues that I have, has been extremely scary, I felt very low and because of this started to push you even further away and I honestly don’t know how you stuck by my side. You didn’t deserve it, and it made us argue, disagree, row and everything else a happily married couple should not do. It was horrible, I hated myself more and more, but I just couldn’t get out of that rut. I still find some days tough and I’m sure you do too, even though being a manly man that you are you don’t admit it.

I am so glad now that we are stronger than we have ever been and that we tackling everything thrown at us together. You are my best friend, my soul mate, my shoulder to cry on, my companion, the one who laughs at my stupid jokes, helps me spell silly words that I just can’t grasp, you make me smile when it has been tough day, cuddle me when there just isn’t any words to explain what I am feeling or what is going on in my head. You make the world seem a little less scary, you hold my hand when times are tough, you help me relax when things are getting on top of me, you guide me when I just can’t guide myself, you make me feel beautiful even when I am wearing the same clothes that I had on when you left for work, you give me the confidence to carry on, you give me the strength to keep my head above water when it feels like I could so easily slip under and you make me feel loved; when I just can’t understand how anyone could.

I really can’t thank you enough for all that you do, you accepted me for who I am and took both me and my wonderful daughter under your wing and treat us like royalty (most of the time ;]) You are the greatest father I could ask for my children. You always put them first and make sure they are happy and have everything they could ever dream of.
We all really love you and couldn’t do this without you.
You, are simply incredible.
My 1 in 7 billion.
My best friend.
My husband.

10

Child Developmental Clinic

It was my little mans CDC appointment the other day, and I really did not know what to expect from it. I had asked several people who had been to them before and everyone gave me different answers, so I’m going to tell you about my experience and how it all went!

The whole day before I had so much nervous energy I ended up sorting out my whole kitchen, cupboards and the lot!  hadn’t expected to get much sleep that night but I must have worn myself out running about like a lunatic cleaning/sorting/worrying etc as I actually managed a pretty decent sleep! Which was a great start as it gave me the energy I needed to be able to listen and concentrate on what was being said.

We were called from the waiting room and met a lovely lady who explained to us what was going to happen during the 90 minute appointment and that there was six other people there to observe him .. so seven people to watch my little 23 month old boy, that seems like an awful lot right! Well it seemed like even more when you walked into the room and saw them all staring at you..all happy, smiling and welcoming faces just very over whelming! My little man wasn’t sure at all what to think, but they are all very used to that and they had everything under there belt, the winning one for him was bubbles! He loves bubbles, what child doesn’t! They then all introduced themselves one by one; physio therapist, speech therapist, Occupational therapist and so forth! The questions then came as he was being observed by all the people there and as one by one they all went over to him and tried to get him to do whatever it was they wanted.. from walking up stairs to making eye contact.

There was so many questions asked I can hardly remember any of them or how I even answered, my partner told me he was impressed with how well I handled them all and answered them all… So I’m thinking they weren’t really the easiest of questions and that is why I have forgotten the majority of them, mixed in with my anxiety I’m surprised how I even remembered to breath through it all let alone answer all these questions thrown at me!

They then went around the room and gave there feedback to us about there findings; one thing that I was worried about was the muscles in his legs being a little short as he is constantly on his toes and not only just a little bit he goes fully up on his toes and occasionally will even walk on the other side of his toes! His muscles are fine though and we were advised to get him some heavy boots to try and encourage him to walk flat footed otherwise he will end up shortening the muscles in his legs. I am now on a hunt for some cute little boots in a lovely size 5! =]

The speech therapist told me to work on his eye contact and that we would have a few appointments with her shortly to help and give me more ideas on how to get him to give eye contact. Then the others mainly spoke about how to try and help him in the world around him, doing lots of messy play to try and encourage him to get used to different textures and how everything in the world around him is. To try tight clothing when I take him out to see if this helps him to feel settled as its like getting a big hug and close contact. I got lots of ideas of things to do with him to try and help him get used to different textures etc so that he will then hopefully start to eat a lot more things! Did you know that your hands are very closely linked to your mouth, so hopefully when he accepts different feelings on his hands he may start to in his mouth too!

It then came back round to the lady who was asking all the questions and listening to what everyone said; she looked at us very seriously and said that it was Autism.
Even though I had expected this my heart sank.. I just needed to get out of the room. Away from all the eyes watching and all the ears listening and waiting for my reply.
She then went on to tell us that she couldn’t refer us to the Autism Clinic until he was two and a half years old, so that we would have to come back in six months for this and that when we were back we would also discuss where would be best for him to go to school and to apply for schools too then as it was important to get on there lists from the start to make sure he got a place.

I asked a few more questions about how long till certain appointments etc.. then quickly left after thanking them all.

Even though I expected this outcome, it was still a huge shock. I am still coming to terms with it and I’m sure I will be for a very long time. I’m really not sure how to feel about it all.. all I know is that our life has changed forever.

I love him & I always will, no matter what.

WeeOhana xx