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Rose Week

Recently my lovely friend who I went to visit in Newcastle recently that I told you guys about here, came over to visit her family and to see me and my wonderful two!
It was a lovely surprise, as she had told me before that she was over but I had completely forgotten what date we were at with Amellia being off school the days seem to all just merge into one!
When she messaged me the day before asking me what I was up too, I had to hold in the excited squeals and stop myself from jumping about so that Amellia didn't ask what was happening! I decided not to tell Amellia so that it would be a big surprise for her as she hadn't seen her in a long time and is always really excited to see her and enjoys talking to her on Skype!

We decided to head up to lovely park that is close to her mums house where she was staying, what we didn't know though was that it was rose week and they had a fair and everything going on! Thankfully we arrived early, so it was very quiet and we got parked easily and the park was quiet.
img_8667We went for a lovely walk and we spotted some really beautiful roses and had lots of fun pointing out the different colours! Louise & Amellia also both really enjoyed rolling down a hill together! (Can't believe I wasn't quick enough to grab a snap of it!)

img_8689Amellia enjoyed smelling all of the roses and other flowers around, though from this picture it looks like she is about to ingest this one! She really enjoyed seeing the flowers, and was really pleased and surprised whenever she knocked on the houses door and out came Louise!

img_8666We all headed over to the park for a little play after we had admired all of the flowers, had races and rolled down hills! It was great that Louise was with us as she went off with Amellia and I was able to follow Dylan about to ensure that he was safe and concentrate on taking him to where he enjoyed and could put him in his pram when it was all getting too much.
I placed him back in his pram after a little while of going over the bridge and down the slide over and over again, and headed off to find where Louise & Amellia were!
We then headed back to the pram, but some of the food stalls had opened so, Amellia got to have a lovely little lunch of a crepe followed by an Ice Cream that Louise treated her too! =]

 

When we got back to the car after enjoying a lovely lunch the place was starting to fill up and people had just abandoned there cars left, right and centre. I think we got there and left at a perfect time, as its never fun trying to relax and enjoy a walk if a place is full of people! As we then drove back towards Louise's mums house Dylan fell asleep in the car and Louise suggested that we stop off at a little park close by and she would take Amellia out for a play and I could sit in the car!
They seemed to have a lovely time and I rather enjoyed just chilling in my car reading my book knowing that Dylan was happily sleeping and Amellia was off having a blast!

I can't wait to see her again and neither can Amellia!
Thank you Louise for a lovely day!

-WeeOhana

 

 

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Learning Curve to friendship <3

Amellia has been working really hard on building up her relationship with Dylan. She understands that he is a little different to others and that he doesn’t enjoy touching, close contact or really playing with her. Though I’m sure you can see how this is very difficult for a five year old to have to understand, and to follow through with. This is especially hard for her as she is basically the polar opposite of Dylan!

She wants to shower him with love and care. She wants to play with him 24/7, kiss and cuddle him and have in-depth conversations about what they are building with the Duplo blocks.. but she has slowly learnt that this isn’t going to get her very high up in Dylans popularity list. When he was building she used to go over and try and help and he would get frustrated at her and hit out, I always found this very hard to watch and explain to her over and over again. She wasn’t doing it out of badness, she just wanted to play and engage with her brother like she would other children. Whenever she then came anywhere near him he would hit out, try to bite her, scream etc at her.. and he still does now but not to anywhere near the same extent. They are both learning how each other work. She knows that if she goes and does something he can’t explain to her he is happy by himself so he will shout or do something else to show her, he has also learnt that not every time she walks past him or sits near that she is going to interrupt what he is doing.

I have seen huge progress between them recently, like all of a sudden they have clicked. They understand each other that little better and she understands why he is a little different and has accepted that she needs to treat him a little differently. Friday, was a huge moment for them. We came down in the morning when they had both awoken and Dylan was pottering about and Amellia was waking up and doing some drawing on her ipad.. when Dylan tottered over to her and sat up beside her all of his own accord. She then handed him her Ipad by choice and showed him what she was doing. She knows he really enjoys drawing so straight away he started to draw, he then took his little hand and placed it on hers. The squeal of delight out of Amellia was just magical. She didn’t want to move and declared this day to me as “The best day in her whole life” This is something that she has been waiting for, for a very long time!
img_4845They then sat like this for the next ten-fifteen minutes swapping whoevers hand was on top, while I melted with happiness for my little girl. This is the connection that she has been dying to get from her little brother since he was born and finally her dreams were coming true ❤
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I had seen that the friendship was growing rather steadily recently, like something had just clicked. She seemed to know when he didn’t want fussed over but was very quick to jump in when he was in a playful mood or was doing something she could do along side him! She did a lot of running about the house beside him before he would even acknowledge that she was there, but now he is looking for her when he starts running about, its magical.

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The other day they had lots of fun out on the trampoline together and Dylan got very upset when she got off, so she then got back on and bounced with him again! Then before she left she handed him a bit of chalk to draw with a zipped the trampoline up so he couldn’t get off by himself! This showed to me that she understood his cry was for her to come back, she then found something to distract him before she left and she also made sure her little brother was safe and couldn’t get hurt.

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This was on Thursday, she had gotten into the car beside him, and as you can see by her face, she is being careful not to touch him too much with her arm! He stayed a minute or two longer then was ready to depart and go back to the trampoline. His most favorite thing in the garden!

They are slowly working each other out, but today has been a big step in the right direction. I couldn’t be more proud of them both. When you have your sibling who understands you and supports you, it can really help you along.  ❤

WeeOhana xx

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Mums & Tots!

When I was at my CDC appointment with my little man they recommended a mums and tots group that was just for children who attended the unit as they know how hard it can be to go to other mums and tots with lots of children/noise etc! So I thought I would give it a bash!

When I would go to other mums & tots he couldn’t handle the noise, amount of people, amount of toys.. everything was just a giant sensory over load so he would go into a meltdown. This would consist of him screaming/crying/throwing himself to the floor/hitting his head off the floor/running at walls/scratching at himself.. people would stare, which made me feel extremely anxious, upset, judged and many other things. The leaders of the mums & tots would come over and sing/give him toys/try to help.. but obviously that just made it worse. Obviously they are trying to help and didn’t know what else to try/do.. so I ended up leaving and taking him to the car to settle him down, I would say to myself that maybe he would like a different mums & tots, that I would try others. Believe me, I tried several different mums & tots, I think I went to all of the ones in my area, but in the end I gave up. The longest I managed to stay at one with him was 15 minutes. When we first went in, he hated it, So I gave him my phone and sat him on my knee for him to watch Morph and accept what was going on around him and hopefully join in. A lady beside me made a comment about how he should be off playing with the other children and enjoying himself like a normal child rather than sitting playing on my phone. I didn’t even bother to reply.. I picked him up and left. I made a group decision for him and me, that we wouldn’t go back to a mums & tots for a long time.

Until when I was at my CDC appointment and they told me about the mums & tots I thought it sounded fantastic, it still took me a few weeks to go to it, to get over my anxiety of the looks/ what ifs and so forth! When I went, I couldn’t understand why I had put it off!

Its a fantastic mums & tots ran by a wonderful group. When we first went in, he wasn’t too happy.. so the lovely ladies there got out the bubble machine and then went away from him. He sat on my knee for while watching the bubbles, then he got up and started popping the bubbles then ran off and saw all the other wonderful things they had. The ladies then got me stuff to fill in while chatted to me about what they did and what was going on with my handsome man.
There was only 5 other children there, in a big hall with all the toys spaced out and a wonderful sensory room. It was fantastic, he pottered about by himself happy as larry without a care in the world. It was wonderful to see, and I chatted to a few of the mums, some of them in a very similar situations to me, it was great to speak to others who are going through the same sort of thing, who know what its like to still be feeding your two year old 10+ month food.

We now go every week and when we pull up outside the hall his little face lights up and he starts flapping in the wonderfully excited way that he does! Its great, to get out of the house and for us both to enjoy ourself and relax.

Is there anywhere that your children especially enjoy? Places they really don’t like?

WeeOhana xx

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Changes!

Everyone knows things change when you have a baby, I don’t think anyone realises quite as much until it actually happens!

I myself was pretty young when I had my first little one so had only just got into the partying and making real friendships! The party thing obviously had to stop as soon as I found out I was pregnant.. Though I didn’t expect it to stop all together after I had the baby too! (How silly was I!) I thought hey I’ll be able to go out when the baby is sleeping, or when she can be minded, I didn’t realise I wouldn’t want to party and would want to be home with my baby even when she was sleeping! I can’t remember the last time I went out and partied and let my hair down! Though I wouldn’t have it any other way as she has made me who I am today, shucks I would rather spend a night cwtched up in bed with her watching all the Disney movies then be out anyway! At the moment though I can’t really party.. As being pregnant and sore kinda puts a bit of a downer on the situation and no comfier a place than sprawled out in bed! It does sometimes though get me down because I didn’t get to experience it all and do all the crazy things I wanted, though I always feel super guilty when I think about that! How can I put my life before hers, right?

On the real friendship front.. Who wants a friend who can’t go out and party, go on girly holidays, go shopping constantly, not really the best of fun with a child huh! So I can see why many of the so called friends I had back then disappeared from my life pretty promptly after they realised having a baby completely changed me, my life and my availability of going out! I do sometimes wish that more of them had made the effort to make plans before the actual night or would even come and chill out while she slept and we could have watched a movie or just gossiped! I unfortunately quite often do get rather lonely and down about the whole friend front, mind you I do have a couple of friends and of course my family who I couldn’t be without! Though feeling you don’t have someone you can just call and go out with or just chill with is a bit of a bummer!

After having my little girl it has made me notice just how much your family do do for you and how much they are their for you, I couldn’t have done half the things I have done without them! My mum is a giant part of my day to day life, if I have a concern or anything at all I can contact her and I am so greatful that she lives so close to me and puts up with me so much! I have a strong dislike to going out by myself, I’m not sure if I was so bad before having my little one. Now though if I go out with myself I’m always panicking that people are looking or saying something about me. People always say don’t let what others think bother you,but it bothers me. I always try to convince myself it doesn’t and will take the little one out by myself when hubby is at work, when I do I end up nearly running into the shopping grabbing what I want and running back out, incase little one throws a wobbler and I don’t know what to do.. And because I just get so panicked! So my mum generally comes out with me and I feel great when out with someone else no panicking or anything!

Babies/children change your life in many other ways too for example, money, views, etc! Though I’ll leave that for another night and pop to bed now 🙂

Nighty night fellow bloggers x