1

The start of it all..

One of the first things that concerned me about Dylan was the fact that he didn’t respond to his name. Now, the normal age for children to start to respond to their name is seven months old, at this age I didn’t really have any concerns, minus him laughing and smiling late but it came in time so I just thought that it was me having high expectations after Amellia being a pretty advanced little one! Though whenever he started walking, running and all those fun things that occur once they are moving and he was still not responding to his name I started to get pretty anxious about why this was. He also had no response to simple requests or questions that children would usually love to respond to, like showing you what they are playing with, or asking them to bring you something to see.
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First of all, I questioned his hearing, but he would turn to certain things like the door opening, dropping of coins and many other things, but his name was something he just didn’t recognise or respond to at all.
Along with this he also tip toe walked everywhere and even when he was in shoes. At the start, I thought that he was just getting used to walking, but as time progressed and he was always walking on his tip toes and would even go over onto the fronts of his toes when stood still I really started to worry. This coupled with his lack of response to his name started the cogs in my burn turning a little faster on the panic front.

When we were transitioning from baby food onto finger foods he had a really strong dislike to everything that wasn’t pure mush like his baby food. He was on 6 months+ baby food until he was about one and a half, he just wouldn’t take anything at all with lumps in it and if he discovered a lump he would just spit it out and refuse to eat anymore. We tried really hard to encourage him to eat the lumpier food, but he then stopped eating it at all and just wouldn’t eat and obviously this is not good for anyone. He had started to eat crisps and digestive biscuits (still his favourite snack!) so I wasn’t concerned about the muscles in his mouth or throat because this was a worry when he wouldn’t eat lumps because we thought maybe he just struggled to chew them up or swallow them, but we quickly learnt from his select few snacks he ate that he could chew and swallow solider things ok. This then became a worry as it was obviously sensory related, so this was another red flag that had went up in my head.

He also had a huge dislike to any sort of feelings on his feet, he wouldn’t walk on the grass or sand and got very distraught by this. That was another thing, whenever he got upset, it wasn’t a ‘normal’ tantrum or upset. It would take a very long time for him to be able to calm down and he would head bang, and many other things to harm himself. Along with stimming whenever things were getting too much for him.
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When he was younger he used to babble a bit, and then one day, he just stopped. Nothing. No babbling and he has always had little to no eye contact.  Whenever this happened and everyone was still telling me that I was being silly, and that he would do these things in time I decided that I would go with the strong gut feeling that I had I would contact my health visitor.
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I was hoping that she would tell me that I was being silly, but I knew in my heart and head that this would be not be the case. She came over the next day and asked me what my concerns were, whenever I told her she asked had I been using google (who doesn’t nowadays!) and I said yes, I had, so she nodded and then watched Dylan.  After about fifteen minutes she looked at me and said that she was hoping she would come here and tell me that she would be back in three months and that she was sure he would have caught up to his peers by then but unfortunately this wasn’t the case with Dylan. She told me that I was right to contact her and she started to fill out a form, she wanted to get his referral to the children’s hospital done as soon as possible so that we could get him the help he needed.. and so started the whole process of waiting for appointments, worrying and overthinking every single thing.

-WeeOhana

18

The Start of a Long Journey

I’m not really sure what to write, or how to phrase what I write really, I just know that I need to write it somewhere as a place to get it out and as a sort of journal for what all is about to begin. Currently we are just starting a long journey with our handsome son to see what is going on with him. Our first step is Monday when he is getting seen by the audiologist.

I’ve had my worries about him for a while, but it took me  until a few months to convince myself that I wasn’t just being silly and there was something going on. I then decided to book a doctors appointment and went armed with a list of my worries and concerns about what was going on with him. I felt like a crazy mum going in with a list, but the doctor there knows me well, was very welcoming and told me he was glad I had a list so that I didn’t forget anything. So after him checking over my little monkeys ears/throat etc we discussed what I was worried about, he decided that we needed to get the health visitor over to see him asap and to get the ball rolling to sort things out with him. One thing he said that really got to me was that “he will either progress from here, or start to go backwards.”

After speaking to my doctor I was hoping to have a weight lifted off my shoulders and him telling me that I was just being silly, not to rush him and so forth but as you can tell, thats not how it went. I came home and got on the phone to the health visitor to get her to come and sort us out. I had to wait a week until she was available to come over, and I’m sure a lot of you reading this are parents and you know how long a week feels when you are in panic and upset about your child.. little did I know the waiting time of a week was the shortest I would endure in this process.

When she arrived she asked me what my worries and concerns were and we got to have a good chat as he was having a little nap. My worries were.. I suppose still are!

  • He doesn’t respond to his name, no matter how loud you shout it. Though hears things like doors creaking etc. At the start I was worried he was deaf, until I realized it was more a selective hearing thing. (this is getting checked on Monday though as they have to clear his hearing before checking everything else)
  • He is 21 months and doesn’t say a word, he babbles a bit, but no words or sounds that mean anything to him. He used to say dada/dog etc and knew what they meant.. now they have disappeared.
  • He tiptoe walks, a lot. Like right up nearly as high as he can get.
  • Extremely fussy with the foods he eats.. Doesn’t really like lumps or bumps in his food.
  • Doesn’t brings toys over to show me/his dad or his sister
  • Isn’t keen on his sister sitting beside him, when she does he will try to bite her/pull her hair.
  • Very little eye contact, or response to emotions from others.
  • Head banging against a wall/floor (very upsetting to experience =()

As I told her these she asked me had I been on google and were these all big worries or just little things.. when I told her that I used to work with children with additional needs she started to listen a little more, and then when he woke up and demonstrated to her several of these things she then said that I was right to have a list written. She then plowed on to serious mode.. She told me that she hoped she would come here and see him and tell me that she would come back and see him in a few more months and that he would grow out of the things he did. Unfortunately she told me this wasn’t the case and she wanted to write down reports etc and get them sent off that night to get him on the list to be seen by the child developmental team as soon as possible. . This was at the start of July.

I have had a lot of time to take it all in, think things over and over again, worry, get upset, get annoyed and most emotions possible really. This is a real tough thing to be going through and to be left in the dark with when the ball will start rolling. I have his audio on Monday so at least that is something but I am yet to have an appointment from the child developmental team. I am going to ask them when I am in on Monday if they have a clue about time frame.. I think the not knowing when it is all going to start is the hardest.. Especially when I know that when the ball has started rolling it wont be straight forward and that it will be a long time after many appointments to know what is going on.

As his mum, I just want to make it all ok everything be fine and one day for him to wake and to have came on leaps and bounds. Be talking and everything.. but as the days and weeks go past, I know that wont be anytime soon. It hurts a lot, but I have to keep my brave face on, keep smiling and positive for my family.

One thing I have found through all this though is that you constantly seem to be on the look out for things that are different/worrying/wrong etc.. So I have tried to concentrate on the positive and enjoy what makes him, him. The way when he laughs, its from deep within him, he has the most wonderful and infections laugh and when you have discovered what makes him laugh you can do it 1000 times over and he will find it just as funny as he did the first time! How when you hand him something new he will inspect it in great detail, turning it over and over again in his hands looking at all the tiny little details on it. That he empties out the whole box of hot wheels to find the one with the red roof and then will grab any other one to have one in each hand.. then will go to the table and play with them for ages without anything distracting.. unless his sister goes near him! 😛  That he will pick the tiny bits off the carpet and place them in my hand and will do this until he thinks they have all gone! When he climbs up beside his sister and for the brief moment will sit beside her and how excited and happy she gets by this, and how at the park he will find a bridge, and go back and forth across this bridge the whole time we spend there chuckling away to himself. He does a whole load more that makes me so proud and privileged to have him as my wonderful son. I love him, and I always will, no matter what the outcome is.

WeeOhana. xx

 

2

Halloween, Christmas, worries & stress!

Following on from the last post; my hubby looked at me like I was mad when I told him my concerns about trick or treating, so he compromised and said just the street we live in, so Compromising is always good, especially when it is with parenting, both parents have to agree on what is to happen! Unless of course it is something one feels very strongly about or is dangerous.
So out they set to go, I decided to come with them to the first house as we know our neighbours, obviously! They answered we had a quick chat, she got some sweets much to her delight and Carried on… For only one more person to answer there door! The people who live opposite that have just moved in! It’s lovely because they have a little girl who is just a little older than My squirt, and the mum is also pregnant and due in January so it’s really nice! In a funny sort of way, She then hadn’t been trick or treating! I then ended up feeling quite bad for her as she was all excited about it… So we went out for a drive and visited a few people who we knew! They all enjoyed seeing her dressed up and she loved getting some more sweets and compliments on her outfit! We went out to buy a pumpkin on Halloween, but all the shops were sold out! One of my hubbies friend who is a green grocer, said that the lack of rain had made it very difficult for farmers to grow pumpkins so there was a shortage! We hunted everywhere.. Just as we were giving up and on the way home, we spotted a grocers and thought let’s stop and have an ask then, we have tried everywhere! Off the hubby went, coming back ten mins later with ‘blue prince’ pumpkins! They were nearly the same as pumpkins… Just smaller.. And white! They were super cute and different! They were a bit small to do any sort of funky design.. But the funniest bit for the little ones is emptying out all the insides! She had great fun scooping it all out.. Putting it into a bowl, putting it to another bowl, rubbing it in her hands, tipping it over her hair and all of that fun stuff! We had lots of fun, and finished the carving off with a toffee apple! How could anyone refuse a toffee apple! My little one ate it and half way through proceeded to tell me “best taste ever!” She then quickly went back to chomping away, she loved it! All in all, it was a nice wee day with a bit of a difference than other days! My little one had a blast and that’s all that matters! 😀
Here is the outcome of the pumpkins;
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CHRISTMAS!!
So now Halloween has passed… I’m so excited for Christmas… Though the other half says no Christmas till December… Which sucks! I’ll convince him to compromise like I did for Halloween right 😉 25th November sounds good to me.. A month before Christmas .. He can’t complain about that right? 😉
Though before Christmas we also have baby excitement! 😀 nuts to think how close Christmas is and knowing we will have a baby before Christmas.. We need to get prepared!!

I don’t feel prepared at all for this baby.. Furniture is arriving next week though and we have the cot it just needs built, so we are pretty prepared as I can’t think of what we are missing! I think it’s because I am totally occupied with looking after my little three year old and then trying to carry on as normal as possible with the spd! I think with your first one, pregnancy feels like a lifetime, your prepared and have everything bought and sorted a lot earlier because you have nothing else to preoccupy you and so forth! I though don’t think anything can prepare you for labour and actually having a newborn! If it’s your first or your fourth I think it will still always be a big, big change and they are all different so you don’t know what is going to happen! I’m panicking about how my three year old is going to deal with all the huge changes to her life, how I’m going to cope about spending my time with two of them, rather than just my little sparkly princess! I don’t want her to feel jealous, pushed out, left behind.. All those feelings I know that she will! :.( I am panicking about the little baba too.. Thinking I may end up pushing him out because I’m so nervous and worried about pushing my little girl out :.( she is my shinning star, my first born, my little squishy. .
I think I am really panicking that my hubby and his family will just start to push her out, she isn’t his you see. Though we have been together since she was nine month old, she doesn’t know any different, he wouldn’t have it any different either. He adores her so much, he wouldn’t know what to do without her. I know that he won’t push her aside, and he has told me he won’t etc, but I think it’s bound to be a worry right? Have any of you been in that situation!? How did it pan out? I’m sure I’m just being silly, hormonal, over thinking and a typical worrier! It will all be fantastic and she is super excited to be a big sister and for some reason she keeps telling me she can’t wait to change baby brothers bum… Well Darling, you crack on with that, because it’s really not the best bit 😉 I’m excited to have him here finally, and be able to drive and walk normally again! He has plenty of blankets, so I can’t wait to get out with my little princess, take her to the park, nice long walks, and all that fun stuff again! Feels like forever since I have had proper time with her not in the house! So I’m going to make a huge effort after baby, getting out as much as we can, rain or shine! I think having this spd has made me appreciate things a lot more, like being able to drive, go to the park, have a dance around the living room with her! I’m going to make sure and embrace and do it all, I’m going to make sure I’m a super duper mummy to both my little cuties! Plan lots of fun things, and random things to do.. Like go for a walk and find six leafs, spot three blue cars and two dogs.. Or something to that extent if you get my drift 😉 lol!

Anyway.. I’ll stop blabbering on!
Must keep positive thoughts!
Oh and consultant next Monday, wonder what will be the outcome and if this little man is still on the big side ><
Health visitor tomorrow.. But they just talk at you and say hi before baby is here, right?

Love & Care
WeeOhana xx