10

Child Developmental Clinic

It was my little mans CDC appointment the other day, and I really did not know what to expect from it. I had asked several people who had been to them before and everyone gave me different answers, so I’m going to tell you about my experience and how it all went!

The whole day before I had so much nervous energy I ended up sorting out my whole kitchen, cupboards and the lot!  hadn’t expected to get much sleep that night but I must have worn myself out running about like a lunatic cleaning/sorting/worrying etc as I actually managed a pretty decent sleep! Which was a great start as it gave me the energy I needed to be able to listen and concentrate on what was being said.

We were called from the waiting room and met a lovely lady who explained to us what was going to happen during the 90 minute appointment and that there was six other people there to observe him .. so seven people to watch my little 23 month old boy, that seems like an awful lot right! Well it seemed like even more when you walked into the room and saw them all staring at you..all happy, smiling and welcoming faces just very over whelming! My little man wasn’t sure at all what to think, but they are all very used to that and they had everything under there belt, the winning one for him was bubbles! He loves bubbles, what child doesn’t! They then all introduced themselves one by one; physio therapist, speech therapist, Occupational therapist and so forth! The questions then came as he was being observed by all the people there and as one by one they all went over to him and tried to get him to do whatever it was they wanted.. from walking up stairs to making eye contact.

There was so many questions asked I can hardly remember any of them or how I even answered, my partner told me he was impressed with how well I handled them all and answered them all… So I’m thinking they weren’t really the easiest of questions and that is why I have forgotten the majority of them, mixed in with my anxiety I’m surprised how I even remembered to breath through it all let alone answer all these questions thrown at me!

They then went around the room and gave there feedback to us about there findings; one thing that I was worried about was the muscles in his legs being a little short as he is constantly on his toes and not only just a little bit he goes fully up on his toes and occasionally will even walk on the other side of his toes! His muscles are fine though and we were advised to get him some heavy boots to try and encourage him to walk flat footed otherwise he will end up shortening the muscles in his legs. I am now on a hunt for some cute little boots in a lovely size 5! =]

The speech therapist told me to work on his eye contact and that we would have a few appointments with her shortly to help and give me more ideas on how to get him to give eye contact. Then the others mainly spoke about how to try and help him in the world around him, doing lots of messy play to try and encourage him to get used to different textures and how everything in the world around him is. To try tight clothing when I take him out to see if this helps him to feel settled as its like getting a big hug and close contact. I got lots of ideas of things to do with him to try and help him get used to different textures etc so that he will then hopefully start to eat a lot more things! Did you know that your hands are very closely linked to your mouth, so hopefully when he accepts different feelings on his hands he may start to in his mouth too!

It then came back round to the lady who was asking all the questions and listening to what everyone said; she looked at us very seriously and said that it was Autism.
Even though I had expected this my heart sank.. I just needed to get out of the room. Away from all the eyes watching and all the ears listening and waiting for my reply.
She then went on to tell us that she couldn’t refer us to the Autism Clinic until he was two and a half years old, so that we would have to come back in six months for this and that when we were back we would also discuss where would be best for him to go to school and to apply for schools too then as it was important to get on there lists from the start to make sure he got a place.

I asked a few more questions about how long till certain appointments etc.. then quickly left after thanking them all.

Even though I expected this outcome, it was still a huge shock. I am still coming to terms with it and I’m sure I will be for a very long time. I’m really not sure how to feel about it all.. all I know is that our life has changed forever.

I love him & I always will, no matter what.

WeeOhana xx

 

0

Guilt & pain

How have we all been?
I’m currently in bed, over joyed that my little one is back to sleeping through the night again rather than her waking at 3:30am fun she was doing recently! Unfortunately not a lot can be said about my sleep.. I seem to wake up every half hour and then try to get comfy for half hour.. Then the same routine again, and again! Which as I’m sure you are aware.. Isn’t fun! It’s leaving me tired and even more down in the dumps with this pain as I’m exhausted and in a great deal of pain try to entertain my nearly three year old!

I have restored to doing a lot of sticker books with her, or just sticking stickers on a page! She loves it, and will actually sit still and do this! She isn’t much of a grade A at sitting still.. But stickers seem to be one thing that she doesn’t mind sitting to do! It’s fab because it means she can sit beside me on the sofa and do it, so I’m semi comfortable.. And she’s not running about like a looney while I sit and feel useless because I can’t chase her about the house and so forth like I normally would have done! I have been quite impressed at how well she is able to find where what sticker goes and how precise she is at putting it down the right way and covering all the white! She will have several attempts to make sure she gets it just right! She’s such a wee star, fingers crossed she keeps it up when this baby comes 🙂

I’m starting to feel really guilty, but I’m sure it’s probably normal.. I’m in a great deal of pain at the moment with this spd, I have constant pain all night and all day, even if I take painkillers. So what’s the point in taking them if they will only make the pain go a tiny bit and will also mean that baby will be dependant on them and I will have an extremely grouchy baby! If they made me pain free I would probably be more willing to take them, but they don’t, I still can’t do much when I take them, so what’s the point! Anyway.. I feel guilty because instead of counting down the days/weeks until baby is here, I’m now counting down until the pain is gone.. I’m feeling more excited about the pain going away than my baby being here :/ I’m sure it’s normal for people who have suffered from this or some other pain … Or at least I hope because I’m starting to feel really mean! I’m really beating myself up about it at the moment and can’t seem to rid the thought from my mind, it’s terrible.. This is meant to be an exciting time where it all slows down because baby is coming soon and because you just can’t wait to have your baby! Time has slowed down for me because if no one comes round, I’m stuck in the house all day, I’m sick and tired of this pain, I literally am tired of this pain because it is preventing me from sleeping and I am constantly exhausted.. I’ll probably get more sleep when the baby is actually here and this pain has gone!

Also walking about like a flipping penguin and getting people looking at me funny isn’t the nicest of things.. Went to the shopping centre today to get some food and so forth.. Took me nearly triple the time to walk through the place than normal! Ahh!!

I have been signed off work, so there is so much I want to do around the house… Nesting is really kicking in! Wanna know the worst part about it… I can’t blooming do anything! Putting a wash on/sorting a wash is a very long processes at the moment as I have to stop several times because of pain! A task that would normally take 2 minutes now takes about an hour… An hour to sort and put a wash on.. Joys. I want to be sorting my little girls room and going through all the baby stuff to see if we need anything more and going out to buy all pretty paints and getting excited about painting new rooms… But I just can’t get excited about it.. Infact, it upsets me even thinking about doing those things.. Because I physically can’t paint, or sort.. And with going to choose the paint, hey that will be another trip out with pain involved! Though j suppose sitting in the house in pain, or going out isn’t much different!

I think it’s quite hard for someone who hasn’t been in this position to understand what it’s like .. To be going from being able to do everything, to near enough nothing. It’s actually really upsetting, and if I beat myself up about it and blame myself much more.. I’m gonna end up locking myself in a room till this baby is here and hiding from the world! I have a funny feeling though it’s going to make me even more protective of the baby and letting people hold him, just because it will have been such a long awaited thing to get him out so I can be pain free and because *fingers crossed* I’ll finally be able to do stuff again and will want to do it all after having felt so useless recently!

.. Anyway I’ll stop ranting as I can hear my little girl awakening and seeing as it takes me a long time to get it of bed.. I may as well start before she starts shouting!!
I hope your all better than me!
Love; WeeOhana x