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Sibling Love.

My daughter always makes me proud, and I try to ensure that she is very aware of how proud she makes me. Especially when it comes to her brother.
Yes, like many brother and sisters they fight, dislike each other at times and want the same toy as what the other is playing with.
Though having a brother like Dylan is a lot more challenging than just the usual arguments and misunderstanding that happen between siblings.
It means that Amellia has had to learn a whole new way to play, interact and socialize with him among with many other things.

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She is currently waiting for him to say her name and asks on a regular basis do we think he will ever say her name. This is always a hard questions to answer because as much as we hope he will gain speech soon we cannot guarantee or promise this.
She longs to play duplo with him, kick a football about and get up to mischief together like you would expect from having a sibling around.
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She has adapted how she plays with Dylan, and if she really wants to get his attention she knows how to do this;will wave her hand in front of his face, or show him a train close by and this generally works. He also loves being spun in his chair that she has so she will often spin him in this and it is great when you can hear them both giggling away together. Its times I treasure and they really melt my heart. You learn to really treasure these moments as they are far and few between, so when they do happen they are just magical.
Sometimes though it just makes him angry and lash out. Unfortunately but also thankfully she is getting better at dodging his aggressive swings for her when she does something he doesn’t like, or want to do. She is starting to learn the signs for when he wants to play or for when he just needs left alone.

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Amellia really keeps me thinking positivly about all that is going on in our little family, yes sometimes things are really tough for her and we ensure that she gets time out to be a typical 5-year-old without having to worry about leaving if Dylan dislikes a place or whatever we have chosen to do that day but her understanding when Dylan gets overwhelmed by a place is absolutely magnificent. She will often say to me if it just me taking them to the park that she is ok with leaving if Dylan doesn’t like it when we get there.
I also really admire how proud of her brother she is, when we are out and she is talking to someone she will openly say about her brother having autism and people are generally shocked by how open she is and never quite know what to reply. She will then go on to tell them about Autism and how it affects her brother and that sometimes he will get mad, but he isn’t doing it to be mean, he just can’t understand you and doesn’t know how to tell you what he thinks.

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Yesterday she came home from school and nearly had me in tears.
She came up to me and told me that we don’t need to send Dylan to the school that we have seen for him because she is going to open a school just for children with autism. She is going to make it with a soft play room, sensory room, colouring and a room especially for Dylan with Thomas the Tank engine all over it.
Then she went on to tell us about how she will let them play most of the day so that they don’t get upset and she will try to teach them but if they get upset she will have an Ipad there for them to use to help to calm him down and they can then play letter games on it to help them to learn.

My heart melted.. My little girl amazes me everyday. She is so understanding, caring, loving and wants to just help in every way that she can.
When we explained to her that he will be a little to old when she has done she said that’s ok then mummy, because I can help other children like Dylan and he can come in and help me ❤img_4646

Dylan is so lucky to have a sister like her, and she helps him so much and wouldn’t ever be without him.
She tells me often that when I get older and I can’t look after Dylan anymore she will live with him so that she can keep him safe and make sure that he has the best life he can. She doesn’t want to get married or have any children so that she can always be there for Dylan when he needs her.

Simply put; I think he is the luckiest little brother and she is the most understanding big sister around.

-WeeOhana

5

How I escape..

Yes ok, I’m late to the party. Recently I have fallen in love with Spotify.
My whole life I have been a huge music fan, music is my escape and always has been.
I can listen to the majority of music and enjoy it and appreciate the work that has gone into making the track and the lyrics!

I have spent ages trawling through Spotify and rekindling my love for all the music I used to listen to years ago, finding out that they have new albums and have changed their style a bit. My phone though is not enjoying the new love for Spotify and downloading all the music to listen to it when I’m out and about! It’s constantly shouting at me to delete stuff as it has no space.. that’s the bad thing about Iphones.. no micro sd card slot. New iPhone will be one with a bigger memory! Can’t wait till December so that I can get my new phone, come on contract hurry up and finish already!
musicHeadphones in or up loud in my car music always helps me. If I am happy I can listen to happy music and be all happy and sing along with it, if I’m angry I can scream along, if I’m sad, I can sing and cry along and there is a song for every single emotion! It can also totally decide my mood, if I’m feeling a bit indecisive and I put a happy song on then it generally perks me up a bit for the rest of the day.. unless it’s too happy then it just really annoys me!
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One of the features that I really love is that it makes daily mixes for you from a selection of music that you have added to your favourites and puts like music together, its great when you’re not entirely sure what you want to listen to but know the genre! It also does a discover weekly which has new music in it for you that is based on the things you like too! It’s such a clever little thing!
SpotiSorry, just a short ramble about my love for music and Spotify today! Hubby is playing the PS4 so what better way for me to spend it, listening to music on Spotify and blogging about it to keep my mind busy!
Dylan has his next CDC clinic next week where they are going to start his education plan and refer him on etc, so my mind is on overdrive these past few weeks!
Back to music though, If you don’t have Spotify I recommended trying it out! I wouldn’t be without it now!
You would swear I was bribed to write this.. I wasn’t. I just really love Spotify!

-WeeOhana

9

Sensory play outside! =]

It has been simply wonderful weather here for the past few days and we have spent lots of time out in the back garden relaxing and enjoying the safe space we have.

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We recently purchased them that wonderful little Smoby activity car that you can see, it is wonderful! Has a great sized slide on it, a wheel you can turn and it has a horn with several different noises, a key to turn and to make it even more wonderful the bonnet opens and you can put whatever you want in it! It also then comes away from the car for if you want to wash it or empty out whatever you have put in it! The reason we went for this activity car is because Dylan can get in and out of it himself and climb up and go down the slide by himself too!

Today I decided instead of putting the expected of sand into it, to put some soil that I had from planting my pepper plants into it to see what he would make of it!

He got stuck right in and really enjoyed it! He was shovelling it up and filling the plant pots up and then emptying them! He was having lots of fun and played with it for a long time!

He wasn’t keen on it getting on his hands and when emptying out the plant pots was very careful not to touch it with his hand and was always using the shovel when moving the soil about! He had lots of fun though and was happy doing this for a long time so I am hoping with a few more days of sun and playing with the soil he will start to touch it with his hands!

My precious little man, who means the world to me ❤
WeeOhana x

0

Normal? I think not!

I read something really odd on a Facebook group today. A lady was asking the group that because she is a stay at home mum her fellow thinks that when he comes home from work he gets to watch whatever he wants, chill on the sofa ignoring the children and what they want to watch and relax. She then makes dinner while he watch’s what he wants then she spends the evening watching his programs. She wanted to know if this was normal behaviour! What do you think? What happens in your house?

I personally think this is absolutely ludicrous! Firstly my little girl would not let my hubby come in and just chill on the sofa without jumping on him, quizzing him about his day and everything he did then filling him in with what she has done when he was at work. Then if he was to turn off the program they were watching, I’m sure there would be a fight! My reaction would also not be very pleasant! He has been at work all day, and yes I know that he works very hard etc and I’m not belittling that at all, but his kids want to see him. He should also want to see them too and share his experiences of the day and enjoy hearing what they have done!

Also I feel that a lot of stay at home parents really do not get enough credit! It is hard work, very hard work, it is enjoyable but tough. So why should one get to come in and just relax and forget about everything when the other has been at home with the children all day! Least the working one gets out of the house and some time away!

As for the who gets to pick what they watch at night.. in my house we are generally pretty good at deciding together. We generally have a series that we are watching together so will watch a few episodes or if we fancy a movie we will pick together! Obviously sometimes there are things that my hubby really wants to watch so I let him watch and vice versa but generally its a mutual decision with what goes on the T.V!
Why should one of us get priority?
We are both equal, not one better than the other.

WeeOhana xx

9

Treat Day!

We try to ensure that Amellia gets to go out at least once a month with one us to do whatever she wants. Sometimes she picks swimming, other times clothes shopping but something she always picks is to go out for dinner! She loves her food and unfortunately going out for dinner as a family is something that we don’t do very often at all as Dylan is not a good eater, and all the noises, bright lights, people and smells just send him into meltdown.
Before Dylan was even born this was something that we had decided we would make sure we did, I think its important for all children to get a chance to do whatever they want for a day, have all the attention on them and be made to feel as special and wonderful as they are!
It is even more important to us now with everything that we are going through with Dylan as I don’t want her to miss out on all the typical “kid” things that he wouldn’t particularly enjoy. I also don’t want her to grow up resenting her brother because she didn’t get to do things she wanted to because of him. We try our best to do things as a family but it is tough, and I don’t like taking her out and having to say her to her that if Dylan doesn’t like it we have to go. She is wonderful with him though because if I take them to the park and he starts to get  upset she will come over to me and say “ok mummy time to go!” As much as this is wonderful, it’s not fair on a five-year old.

On our day out she decided she wanted to start with lunch at Little Wing Pizzeria! What a wonderful little spot, I love it. I am simply a huge pizza fan and they make exceptionally delicious ones! When we sat down she was super excited to pick off the menu herself and then get to colouring it in! She chose the minestrone soup as she liked the sound of it coming in a cup! When it arrived it was super cute in a teeny tiny cup, and she dove right in. Unfortunately though she wasn’t a big fan of this soup but to make it an even better experience the girl serving us then got her dough sticks  instead which she quickly devoured! Not only was this fantastic customer service but when she brought her over the dough sticks she told Amellia that is was great to try new things and that she was a super girl for trying the soup!
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whilst we waited for our mains then we got a chance to colour in the menu, it was wonderful! They had little bits for you to draw what you thought certain things would eat and a picture for you to find other items in and colour them in, she had a lot of fun doing this and got really excited when she found the things we were looking for in the picture! She had lasagna for her main and she really loved it, she ate it all up and enjoyed it so much!


One of her favourite parts of the dinner was getting an ice cream and a little mini hot chocolate in another tiny little cup! Unfortunately I didn’t take any pictures of these but they were just adorable! She also loved the fact that she got to have coke with her lunch and thought it was super special that it was in a glass bottle and not a little plastic cup!
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She then wanted to do a spot of shopping, so we popped into a few of her favourite shops and picked up a few bits and pieces. We then headed home and told her daddy and brother all that we had been up to and how she can’t wait to go there again!

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Ohh, I forgot to also tell you how wonderfully delicious my dinner was from Little Wing too, one of my favourite things that they do is there spicy cheesy bread for starters! I then had one of their pizzas for main which was just super as always.. I can’t remember exactly what one it was..doh.. but I do remember that it was yummy! We will certainly be back soon, I can’t wait for my next day out with her.
She is simply wonderful and really does not get enough credit ❤

Do you try to take your kids out on their own if you have more than one?
What do they love to do?

WeeOhana xx

 

 

 

1

Learning Curve to friendship <3

Amellia has been working really hard on building up her relationship with Dylan. She understands that he is a little different to others and that he doesn’t enjoy touching, close contact or really playing with her. Though I’m sure you can see how this is very difficult for a five year old to have to understand, and to follow through with. This is especially hard for her as she is basically the polar opposite of Dylan!

She wants to shower him with love and care. She wants to play with him 24/7, kiss and cuddle him and have in-depth conversations about what they are building with the Duplo blocks.. but she has slowly learnt that this isn’t going to get her very high up in Dylans popularity list. When he was building she used to go over and try and help and he would get frustrated at her and hit out, I always found this very hard to watch and explain to her over and over again. She wasn’t doing it out of badness, she just wanted to play and engage with her brother like she would other children. Whenever she then came anywhere near him he would hit out, try to bite her, scream etc at her.. and he still does now but not to anywhere near the same extent. They are both learning how each other work. She knows that if she goes and does something he can’t explain to her he is happy by himself so he will shout or do something else to show her, he has also learnt that not every time she walks past him or sits near that she is going to interrupt what he is doing.

I have seen huge progress between them recently, like all of a sudden they have clicked. They understand each other that little better and she understands why he is a little different and has accepted that she needs to treat him a little differently. Friday, was a huge moment for them. We came down in the morning when they had both awoken and Dylan was pottering about and Amellia was waking up and doing some drawing on her ipad.. when Dylan tottered over to her and sat up beside her all of his own accord. She then handed him her Ipad by choice and showed him what she was doing. She knows he really enjoys drawing so straight away he started to draw, he then took his little hand and placed it on hers. The squeal of delight out of Amellia was just magical. She didn’t want to move and declared this day to me as “The best day in her whole life” This is something that she has been waiting for, for a very long time!
img_4845They then sat like this for the next ten-fifteen minutes swapping whoevers hand was on top, while I melted with happiness for my little girl. This is the connection that she has been dying to get from her little brother since he was born and finally her dreams were coming true ❤
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I had seen that the friendship was growing rather steadily recently, like something had just clicked. She seemed to know when he didn’t want fussed over but was very quick to jump in when he was in a playful mood or was doing something she could do along side him! She did a lot of running about the house beside him before he would even acknowledge that she was there, but now he is looking for her when he starts running about, its magical.

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The other day they had lots of fun out on the trampoline together and Dylan got very upset when she got off, so she then got back on and bounced with him again! Then before she left she handed him a bit of chalk to draw with a zipped the trampoline up so he couldn’t get off by himself! This showed to me that she understood his cry was for her to come back, she then found something to distract him before she left and she also made sure her little brother was safe and couldn’t get hurt.

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This was on Thursday, she had gotten into the car beside him, and as you can see by her face, she is being careful not to touch him too much with her arm! He stayed a minute or two longer then was ready to depart and go back to the trampoline. His most favorite thing in the garden!

They are slowly working each other out, but today has been a big step in the right direction. I couldn’t be more proud of them both. When you have your sibling who understands you and supports you, it can really help you along.  ❤

WeeOhana xx