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Normal? I think not!

I read something really odd on a Facebook group today. A lady was asking the group that because she is a stay at home mum her fellow thinks that when he comes home from work he gets to watch whatever he wants, chill on the sofa ignoring the children and what they want to watch and relax. She then makes dinner while he watch’s what he wants then she spends the evening watching his programs. She wanted to know if this was normal behaviour! What do you think? What happens in your house?

I personally think this is absolutely ludicrous! Firstly my little girl would not let my hubby come in and just chill on the sofa without jumping on him, quizzing him about his day and everything he did then filling him in with what she has done when he was at work. Then if he was to turn off the program they were watching, I’m sure there would be a fight! My reaction would also not be very pleasant! He has been at work all day, and yes I know that he works very hard etc and I’m not belittling that at all, but his kids want to see him. He should also want to see them too and share his experiences of the day and enjoy hearing what they have done!

Also I feel that a lot of stay at home parents really do not get enough credit! It is hard work, very hard work, it is enjoyable but tough. So why should one get to come in and just relax and forget about everything when the other has been at home with the children all day! Least the working one gets out of the house and some time away!

As for the who gets to pick what they watch at night.. in my house we are generally pretty good at deciding together. We generally have a series that we are watching together so will watch a few episodes or if we fancy a movie we will pick together! Obviously sometimes there are things that my hubby really wants to watch so I let him watch and vice versa but generally its a mutual decision with what goes on the T.V!
Why should one of us get priority?
We are both equal, not one better than the other.

WeeOhana xx

7

Treat Day!

We try to ensure that Amellia gets to go out at least once a month with one us to do whatever she wants. Sometimes she picks swimming, other times clothes shopping but something she always picks is to go out for dinner! She loves her food and unfortunately going out for dinner as a family is something that we don’t do very often at all as Dylan is not a good eater, and all the noises, bright lights, people and smells just send him into meltdown.
Before Dylan was even born this was something that we had decided we would make sure we did, I think its important for all children to get a chance to do whatever they want for a day, have all the attention on them and be made to feel as special and wonderful as they are!
It is even more important to us now with everything that we are going through with Dylan as I don’t want her to miss out on all the typical “kid” things that he wouldn’t particularly enjoy. I also don’t want her to grow up resenting her brother because she didn’t get to do things she wanted to because of him. We try our best to do things as a family but it is tough, and I don’t like taking her out and having to say her to her that if Dylan doesn’t like it we have to go. She is wonderful with him though because if I take them to the park and he starts to get  upset she will come over to me and say “ok mummy time to go!” As much as this is wonderful, it’s not fair on a five-year old.

On our day out she decided she wanted to start with lunch at Little Wing Pizzeria! What a wonderful little spot, I love it. I am simply a huge pizza fan and they make exceptionally delicious ones! When we sat down she was super excited to pick off the menu herself and then get to colouring it in! She chose the minestrone soup as she liked the sound of it coming in a cup! When it arrived it was super cute in a teeny tiny cup, and she dove right in. Unfortunately though she wasn’t a big fan of this soup but to make it an even better experience the girl serving us then got her dough sticks  instead which she quickly devoured! Not only was this fantastic customer service but when she brought her over the dough sticks she told Amellia that is was great to try new things and that she was a super girl for trying the soup!
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whilst we waited for our mains then we got a chance to colour in the menu, it was wonderful! They had little bits for you to draw what you thought certain things would eat and a picture for you to find other items in and colour them in, she had a lot of fun doing this and got really excited when she found the things we were looking for in the picture! She had lasagna for her main and she really loved it, she ate it all up and enjoyed it so much!


One of her favourite parts of the dinner was getting an ice cream and a little mini hot chocolate in another tiny little cup! Unfortunately I didn’t take any pictures of these but they were just adorable! She also loved the fact that she got to have coke with her lunch and thought it was super special that it was in a glass bottle and not a little plastic cup!
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She then wanted to do a spot of shopping, so we popped into a few of her favourite shops and picked up a few bits and pieces. We then headed home and told her daddy and brother all that we had been up to and how she can’t wait to go there again!

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Ohh, I forgot to also tell you how wonderfully delicious my dinner was from Little Wing too, one of my favourite things that they do is there spicy cheesy bread for starters! I then had one of their pizzas for main which was just super as always.. I can’t remember exactly what one it was..doh.. but I do remember that it was yummy! We will certainly be back soon, I can’t wait for my next day out with her.
She is simply wonderful and really does not get enough credit ❤

Do you try to take your kids out on their own if you have more than one?
What do they love to do?

WeeOhana xx

 

 

 

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Learning Curve to friendship <3

Amellia has been working really hard on building up her relationship with Dylan. She understands that he is a little different to others and that he doesn’t enjoy touching, close contact or really playing with her. Though I’m sure you can see how this is very difficult for a five year old to have to understand, and to follow through with. This is especially hard for her as she is basically the polar opposite of Dylan!

She wants to shower him with love and care. She wants to play with him 24/7, kiss and cuddle him and have in-depth conversations about what they are building with the Duplo blocks.. but she has slowly learnt that this isn’t going to get her very high up in Dylans popularity list. When he was building she used to go over and try and help and he would get frustrated at her and hit out, I always found this very hard to watch and explain to her over and over again. She wasn’t doing it out of badness, she just wanted to play and engage with her brother like she would other children. Whenever she then came anywhere near him he would hit out, try to bite her, scream etc at her.. and he still does now but not to anywhere near the same extent. They are both learning how each other work. She knows that if she goes and does something he can’t explain to her he is happy by himself so he will shout or do something else to show her, he has also learnt that not every time she walks past him or sits near that she is going to interrupt what he is doing.

I have seen huge progress between them recently, like all of a sudden they have clicked. They understand each other that little better and she understands why he is a little different and has accepted that she needs to treat him a little differently. Friday, was a huge moment for them. We came down in the morning when they had both awoken and Dylan was pottering about and Amellia was waking up and doing some drawing on her ipad.. when Dylan tottered over to her and sat up beside her all of his own accord. She then handed him her Ipad by choice and showed him what she was doing. She knows he really enjoys drawing so straight away he started to draw, he then took his little hand and placed it on hers. The squeal of delight out of Amellia was just magical. She didn’t want to move and declared this day to me as “The best day in her whole life” This is something that she has been waiting for, for a very long time!
img_4845They then sat like this for the next ten-fifteen minutes swapping whoevers hand was on top, while I melted with happiness for my little girl. This is the connection that she has been dying to get from her little brother since he was born and finally her dreams were coming true ❤
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I had seen that the friendship was growing rather steadily recently, like something had just clicked. She seemed to know when he didn’t want fussed over but was very quick to jump in when he was in a playful mood or was doing something she could do along side him! She did a lot of running about the house beside him before he would even acknowledge that she was there, but now he is looking for her when he starts running about, its magical.

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The other day they had lots of fun out on the trampoline together and Dylan got very upset when she got off, so she then got back on and bounced with him again! Then before she left she handed him a bit of chalk to draw with a zipped the trampoline up so he couldn’t get off by himself! This showed to me that she understood his cry was for her to come back, she then found something to distract him before she left and she also made sure her little brother was safe and couldn’t get hurt.

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This was on Thursday, she had gotten into the car beside him, and as you can see by her face, she is being careful not to touch him too much with her arm! He stayed a minute or two longer then was ready to depart and go back to the trampoline. His most favorite thing in the garden!

They are slowly working each other out, but today has been a big step in the right direction. I couldn’t be more proud of them both. When you have your sibling who understands you and supports you, it can really help you along.  ❤

WeeOhana xx

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Q & A for my five year old!

When my daughter was three I asked her some questions and the answers really made me giggle, You can check them out here! So I thought I would do it again today now she is 5 just to see how her answers had changed!
Here is the end result;

Without any prompting, ask your child these questions and write down exactly what they say. Its a great way to find out what they really think

1. What is something mum always says to you ?
Chicken
(Her nickname)

2. What makes you happy?
When daddy makes me laugh

3. How does mum make you laugh?
By being really silly

4. What makes mum sad?
When I don’t snuggle you

5. What was mum like as a child?
Cute

6. How old is mum?
21
(24)

7. How tall is mum?
Taller than me

8. What is mums favorite thing to do?
Having a mummy, daughter day

9. What does mum do when you’re not around?
Read her book

10. What is your mum really good at?
Looking after me & Dylan

11. What is mum not really good at?
Not good at making special breakfasts.. Daddy always does this

12. What does your mum do for a job?
Keeps me & Dylan happy

13. What is your mums favorite food?
Sandwiches

14. What makes you proud of your mum?
When she does magic tricks
(I didn’t know I could do magic tricks!)

15. What do you and your mum do together?
Have girly nights when daddy is at work

16. How are you and your mum the same?
We have brown hair and brown eyes

17. How are you and your mum different?
We dress differently

18. How do you know mum loves you?
Because she kisses me and gives me hugs and tells me

19. What does mum like most about dad?
He looks after me and Dylan good

20. Where’s mum favorite place to go?
Going to Next with me and buying me clothes

21. How old was mummy when she had you?
13
(19)

 

Why not ask your children and see what they say! Its pretty funny to hear there take on simple things! =] Let me know if you do I would love to check it out!
WeeOhana

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Family Walk!

On mothers day we went for a lovely little walk around Londonderry Park. It is simply beautiful! Dylan fell fast asleep in the car on the way over though so he had a nice nap in the fresh air in his pram while we enjoyed exploring the world around us!

Londonderry Park is a lovely little park in Newtownards. It has a fantastic play park, football pitches, cricket nets and lots of other things along with a walk around the outside of the park which has some lovely flowers and lots of space to run in which my little girl just adores! She is very much an outdoors person!

We started off with the walk around the outside of all the things they have available there, she had great fun climbing up the trees and looking at the flowers! Which were in perfect bloom!

She then had to find a stick to have a battle with her daddy, she picked herself a lovely strong stick.. and he got stuck with a very febal one that broke quickly.. but who could say no to that little face!

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After enjoying a great walk around, watching the planes that had just taken off above us and being bombarded with a zillioin questions about everything under the sun her and daddy headed off to play in the park while I walked a little further with a still fast asleep Dylan and a small and very fluffy dog! I thought she would be suitably tired after a big walk and a play in the park but nope.. she wanted to do the walk again, so off we went for a second time!
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It was a lovely trip out, filled with lots of questions, play, laughs, running about and many reminders about why I just love being a mum. ❤

Weeohana x

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Questions!

With it  being Autism Awareness month I decided to ask on a page on Facebook that has many bloggers on it if they had any questions about Autism. Here are the questions I was asked and my answer! =]

Sophie from mamamei.co.uk has a little brother who has Aspergers and asks
are people still struggling to get a quick enough diagnosis? “
We are currently going through the diagnosis process and it is a very long and infuriating thing. When Dylan got seen at the CDC clinic we got told that it is autism but we have to wait till he is 2 1/2 before he can even be referred across to the autism clinic and then he will be put on another waiting list before he is seen, which is a very long list. The annoying thing about this is that if they had referred him when we were first there he wouldn’t have been seen until he was over 2 1/2 anyway.  It will then be a push to try to get him into a nursery that will be able to deal with his level of needs without a diagnosis. I know a few other parents who are going through a similar thing and are having to wait for an unacceptable amount of time. One lady had her child referred to the autism clinic at 2 1/2 and he is 3 1/2 now and she still hasn’t had a letter to start the process. So; I’m not getting my hopes up for a speedy one myself.
It is very irritating because they say early intervention is key to helping, but they don’t seem so keen to provide much help until they are over a certain age etc!

Claire from Http://lifeloveanddirtydishes.com asked; What did you notice about your child that made you seek a diagnosis?
There was several things with Dylan that made me want to seek a diagnosis. One of the main things was that he was talking for a while well he said 2/3 words then about a month later he lost them and all the word sounds that he made. He tip toe walked and still does the majority of the time. He also has very poor eye contact and will not respond to his name no matter how loud you shout it! I had worries about him for a while before anyone else would accept that I was in-fact right to be worried and that he needed to be checked out by the health visitor. Even when he was a young baby I raised a few concerns with my HV, like he didn’t smile or giggle for a very long time. I also as a mum remember feeling very upset because we didn’t seem to have that automatic bond people talk about. When you were feeding him his bottle he wouldn’t look at you lovingly etc! There are lots of things about Dylan that increase my worrying about him that I spot as the times go on. Mainly though I am very eager to try to get him talking or communicating in some way so that he can let me know what is upsetting him, what he wants or what is going on in his head! This would then in turn hopefully lessen the amount of melt downs we have in a day-to-day occurrence as he could then communicate.

Vicki from Www.tippytupps.com wanted to know;  “if you have other children, how do you balance out their needs so neither feel left out?”
This is something that I am really conscious about as I have a little girl who is five years old. I am always worried about her missing out on things because of his dislike for many things. Though me and my husband work hard to ensure that she gets to do the majority of things that she wants to do and that she gets days out just by herself so that she doesn’t have to worry about having to leave if he gets upset and that she gets all the attention. We take turns once a month where we will take her out for a full day and do whatever she wants to do, be it swimming, shopping, eating, going for a walk or anything that she thinks of! During the month if there is something that she wants to do that only takes a few hours for example swimming and my husband is off work, he will take her swimming while I go for a walk with Dylan or do something that he enjoys!

If you have any questions you would like answered drop them in the comments below and I will surely answer them for you on this blog =]

If you enjoy my blog and reading about what we are going through with Dylan and would like to read some other blogs similar here are a few;

Danielle Duggins – “I  write about experiences mostly – https://someonesmum.co.uk/category/autism/”

Ann Hickman- “I blog about how our family experiences the world.. often a differently to others http://www.rainbowsaretoobeautiful.com”

Victoria Hatton- “I write about autism too, my daughter has Asperger’s and I’m an Autism specialist teacher. I write both from a teacher and a mummy perspective: Teacher: https://www.mummytimestwo.com/…/navigating-autism-from…/ Mummy: https://www.mummytimestwo.com/…/moment-knew-daughter…/”

2

Dear Husband..

Dear Husband;
You are simply amazing. I don’t tell you often enough how wonderful you are, how strong you keep us as a family unit and just how much I love you. This past year has been a very tough one for our family, life changing things have appeared that we never thought we would have to face. We have faced some real challenge as a couple learning to accept the things that have been thrown in our path. I feel that we are now a lot stronger than we were before, and we will continue to build up skywards, together.

I must admit at the start of all this we grew apart, drastically. It really scared me, I didn’t know how I would make it through all this without you by my side as support. I thought we were going down a long and horrible road, and we were going to have to do it apart. All of this coupled with my issues that I have, has been extremely scary, I felt very low and because of this started to push you even further away and I honestly don’t know how you stuck by my side. You didn’t deserve it, and it made us argue, disagree, row and everything else a happily married couple should not do. It was horrible, I hated myself more and more, but I just couldn’t get out of that rut. I still find some days tough and I’m sure you do too, even though being a manly man that you are you don’t admit it.

I am so glad now that we are stronger than we have ever been and that we tackling everything thrown at us together. You are my best friend, my soul mate, my shoulder to cry on, my companion, the one who laughs at my stupid jokes, helps me spell silly words that I just can’t grasp, you make me smile when it has been tough day, cuddle me when there just isn’t any words to explain what I am feeling or what is going on in my head. You make the world seem a little less scary, you hold my hand when times are tough, you help me relax when things are getting on top of me, you guide me when I just can’t guide myself, you make me feel beautiful even when I am wearing the same clothes that I had on when you left for work, you give me the confidence to carry on, you give me the strength to keep my head above water when it feels like I could so easily slip under and you make me feel loved; when I just can’t understand how anyone could.

I really can’t thank you enough for all that you do, you accepted me for who I am and took both me and my wonderful daughter under your wing and treat us like royalty (most of the time ;]) You are the greatest father I could ask for my children. You always put them first and make sure they are happy and have everything they could ever dream of.
We all really love you and couldn’t do this without you.
You, are simply incredible.
My 1 in 7 billion.
My best friend.
My husband.