4

Time goes too fast!

Next week my baby girl is turning six and I just can’t believe it!
In some ways time seems to have just gone so fast, but in others it feels like moments were so long ago!
She has grown into a crazy, hyper, loving, button pushing, understanding and majorly beautiful little girl!
She stole my heart the moment she was born and we got through a really tough time together at the very start of her little wonderful life on this earth. She came when I needed her the most and is now such a beautiful little ray of sunshine!
If I ever feel down, she will do anything to make me laugh, if I’m feeling like a giant child and I just want to mess around then she is always very pleased to join in and if I ever need a hand (majority of the time) she will help!

She got her main birthday present early, it was a ‘big’ girls bike!
We decided to give it to her early so that she could use it for a while during the summer time before she headed back to school. She really enjoys going out on her bike, but I hope that with not using it as much over the winter that she wont forget how to do It and lose her confidence, I will have to try and get Ad to take her out often.
Obviously we have got her some things for on her birthday but we have decided to not go quite so mad as we did for her last birthday and Christmas.. it was rather a lot!

img_8900

I can’t thank Ad enough for all the support, love, encouragement, care, compassion, fun, and many other things that he shows Amellia. They completely adore each other and she really does idealize him!

Ad; Thank you so much for everything you do for us, you treat her wonderfully and we all love you too the moon and back! Always & Forever.
Amellia; You are an incredible little girl, I am so proud of you for everything you do! Just please.. Stop growing up so fast!!!

img_8860

6

Think about you.

Trying to keep on top of your own mental health is really vital in life.
I feel that it is really essential to try to keep a check on yourself whenever you have a child with additional needs.
It does completely take over on all of your thinking, planning, time and very quickly you can get very worn down.

You need to stop, breath and think about you.
How are you feeling?
– If you aren’t sure, talk to someone. A friend, partner, someone who understands. If you regularly feel low, that you can’t take much more contact your GP for a chat.

When is the last time you did something for you?
– Have you managed to have some time to yourself or with other adults to actually relax?
I don’t mean just tidying when the kids have gone to bed, having a coffee, I mean something properly for you. Make sure to visit your friends, get out of the house and go for a walk, go to the shops and only look at things for you, do something that you enjoy and try to make it a regular thing!

Are you just holding on, or are you standing up tall? 
– 
Standing up tall? Fantastic! Though if you are just holding on, feel like you are at the edge, stretched too your limit, at the edge. Seek help. With kids with additional needs you never know what is around the corner and you don’t want it to be the thing to tip you over.
Your child/ren need you. More so than others, if you won’t fight to get them what they need, who will? GPs are very understanding and supportive. Don’t make an appointment for a few weeks down the line, take the emergency appointment and get seen that day. You need it.

Yes, you may have been here before and got back on your feet, and forgotten it for a while, but it will come back when you least expect it.
Please don’t feel embarrassed, scared, afraid, just make that phone call.
Your family and friends may tell you that it will all be ok and that you are ok, but you have to feel it too, and I’m sure if you are in this position you do not feel it.
Them shrugging off what you tell them, ignoring it, or just replying with the generic “you will be ok.” That is not enough.
Go to the doctor, talk it through with a professional and then tell your family and friends you are getting help and you would like their support.

Sometimes family and friends are so used to seeing your strong exterior, your fight, your smile and get up and go that they can’t see how much you really are struggling deep down.

You can do this.
Support is out there.
Don’t be fobbed off.
Your family need you.

 

 

14

Being Positive is Tough!

As a parent you are expected to always be positive, happy go-lucky and love everything that you do in your life that involves your kids. When you are with you kids or even around other kids, or any human really you are expected to have a smile, have lots of gossip to share and happy stories. Is parenting really all positive and great fun though? A simple answer no; no it isn’t.

Being a mum, a parent is really tough. I am currently a stay at home mum and  it is really tough, tougher than most jobs. You have to have a smile, willingness to do arts & crafts, answer 1000 questions, wipe bums, make snacks, do baking, colour, read books, play pretend, cook dinner, recook dinner as they changed their mind, and many other things.. all on a daily basis. You have to do all this while doing a dance or singing or whatever other thing your child enjoys and when they eventually go to bed and fall asleep you’re so mentally exhausted from keeping up this positive persona that you yourself are exhausted or you end up just sitting watching some mind numbing program on T.V.

Then when you see friends, especially friends who have children you are expected to gush to each other over how wonderful you children are, what new things they have learnt and just why they are simply amazing. All while showing them the latest pictures you have snapped of them, for your friend to then tell you how beautiful and wonderful your child and you do the same to them about their child. Just being honest here, but as much as I love my kids, I would love to not have to gush over them especially if I’m with a friend. In-fact I would love to be able to be open and tell them how I am really feeling, the struggles, share the lows as well as the highs. Recently though anytime I have mentioned a low to anyone they always come back with “Oh it will be fine”, “You never know, it will all be OK I bet” and all that positive cack. Now, I am one for trying to keep upbeat about all that I have going on but some-days I want to have a moan and a cry about how tough it is, and I want to have a friend who will talk to me like it is real life; For them to help me accept what is going on in my life. To help me accept it rather than fill my head with fluffy nonsense and denial.

I’m going through a lot with my family at the moment and I have really realized who is there for you and who just wants to be your friend when it suits them. I have lost several friends recently, but hey. There loss right? I told a friend once we had been to the CDC clinic about Dylan how it had went, that they would need to discuss special schools etc next time we went back as he was too young .. her reply “Can we please talk about something positive?” … I know right! Well I just didn’t reply. It really upset me, when I needed a friend to chat to and really let my feelings out too, they blew me off. Acted like I was complaining about a stubbed toe or something. There we go though, that’s another example of why being positive and why being expected to be positive is tough. I’m sure any parent could see how this would be a hard, upsetting and life changing thing for me, but yet my friend still expected me to be positive? I’m sorry but that just doesn’t make sense to me.

So next time you see a friend,your partner, your parent whoever it is you normally talk too, tell them how it really is.If your finding something tough tell them, if you need someone to rant, rave or cry at. Do it! Please do not hold it in. If you don’t have someone you feel comfortable to do that with, I’m here. I’ll be your someone to rant,rave and cry at. Don’t be afraid. Head to my Facebook page and message me and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. I hate to think of people holding all there true feelings in, these emotions and words that need out; let them out. Your mental health is very important, and if you go around always being positive, one day it will catch up with you, trust me.

I asked a few of my blogger friends; Why do you think being positive all the time is hard? Here is how they answered! =]

Amy who blogs at The smallest of things said- “Because sometimes they push me until I’m hanging over the edge!! 😂😂
(kids sure do have a good knack at doing that don’t they! They always know the right (or wrong buttons to press)

Jemma who blogs here said- “It’s just so draining. It’s like wearing your fake smile for people you don’t like. You only have to do that for a little while if you see them, but with your kids it’s 12 hours a day-non stop!
Don’t get me wrong there are genuine positive moments but the majority aren’t true and soooooo tiring!
(I couldn’t agree more! That fake smile has to constantly be there. It isn’t fun always having to play pretend!)

Samantha at Porridge and Parenting answered- “Because it’s impossible to be positive 24/7. You could be the happiest person in the world whose glass is always half full but that is unsustainable all day every day for the rest of your life and essentially you are a parent all day every day for the rest of your life.”
(Too right, it is impossible! One day it will wear you thin if you keep up the act!)

Helen from mumatron says “I think it’s hard because it’s unnatural. It’s more normal to show a range of emotions.”
(It sure is! We were given emotions to show them, not to try and disguise them as this wonderful happy, positive person when we are feeling quite the opposite sometimes!)

Sarah who blogs at Whimsical Mumblings replied with- “I broke down into tears the other day in front of my children, and felt SO guilty. It’s hard not to show these emotions as well as they good ones. I honestly don’t think we should hide them though! Show your little ones it’s ok to express your emotions.”
(Don’t feel guilty Sarah, like you say yourself it is important for our little ones to see all the emotions that we have and understand that we can show them whenever we need to)

 

Do you find there is anything you feel you have to be positive about when you really don’t feel that way all the time?
WeeOhana xx

 

 

0

Leaps?

We all find different things useful and some babies take dislikes or likes to what others like! Children are all individuals, even when they are little tiny newborns! People seem to think that they have to follow certain routines, do certain things and even follow a line of weigh gain! To me, this is madness! My little man will roll over when he wants, talk when he wants, cry when he wants and weigh as much as he wants! In a group that I am in people are even obsessed with this “Leap” thing.. now I don’t know much about it.. but they are all hooked on the idea that there babies go through certain leaps at certain ages and they last for a said amount of time. For example they are mainly all going through “leap 4”? at the moment! I don’t have a clue what it means, but from reading what they say.. it basically means there baby cries constantly with nothing settling them.. they blame this all on leap 4. Some of them seem to be going crazy asking others for advice on what to do… my advice.. cuddle them, show them a toy, take them for a walk, change there nappy, give them some more milk.. or all the normal things that we try! They always come back with.. no they had milk an hour ago, nappy just changed they just wont stop crying.. to me this sounds crazy that they haven’t tried more milk! It to me is what I go to after trying all of the above, and generally it works straight away and he goes fast asleep! Babies can be hungry whenever they want, they are growing in all ways and that takes a lot of work! They all seem to think that there babies can only eat every four hours and will not be hungry again. Madness, right? Maybe because they have got these ideas planted in there minds, and thoughts they are obsessing and then stressing out about it so the baby then picks up on the bad vibes and upset of there mummies so it upsets them! I don’t know.. Do any of you guys follow this leap idea? Care to enlighten me about it! Do you agree that all babies should do the same things, at the same time and follow the weight & height “line”? Am I just extremely lucky that for the past few weeks my baby boy hasn’t been screaming his head off all the time without anything comforting him?

I would love to hear your thoughts!

WeeOhana x

4

What its all about!

Hiya,

So firstly I would like to inform you guys why I am starting this blog;

My sister is the one who suggested that I started a blog, she has been doing a blog for quite some time now and really enjoys it. I myself can’t wait to start to get to know the people who read my blog and i suppose to get my ideas wrote and a sort of wee journal of what has happened and when! Our memories aren’t quite as good as we would like to hope some times! 😛 So my sister is the one who gave me a little shove and put the idea into my head about starting a blog! =] I am excited to start my blog as I have spare time at night when I generally sit and twiddle my thumbs, watch rubbish T.V and all the fun things us mums & dads do when our little ones have gone to bed and the housework etc is done! My husband also works at night some times so it will give me something to do whenever he is out at work, playing football, or any of the other reasons he has to escape from the mental house!

I plan to blog about everything and anything, but mainly parenthood. Things you can do with your little ones, from arts & crafts, to recipes, great toys, apps, deals, my life and anything else that pops into my head while I’m at this! If there is something you would like to hear my view on just post in the comments and I will happily write a wee blog about it & so forth!

Oh & just in-case you were wondering where “WeeOhana” has came from; Lilo & Stitch is a favorite movie in our house and the quote;

“Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.”

is one that we really love, so I was trying to link into this quote then thought .. WeeOhana though I must give my sister credit for thinking of it! If anyone is unfamiliar with the good old Northern Irish version of the word “wee” it means small.. so WeeOhana means – Small Family, which is what we are!

Signing Off & Out to try and figure out this website; WeeOhana x