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Sibling Love.

My daughter always makes me proud, and I try to ensure that she is very aware of how proud she makes me. Especially when it comes to her brother.
Yes, like many brother and sisters they fight, dislike each other at times and want the same toy as what the other is playing with.
Though having a brother like Dylan is a lot more challenging than just the usual arguments and misunderstanding that happen between siblings.
It means that Amellia has had to learn a whole new way to play, interact and socialize with him among with many other things.

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She is currently waiting for him to say her name and asks on a regular basis do we think he will ever say her name. This is always a hard questions to answer because as much as we hope he will gain speech soon we cannot guarantee or promise this.
She longs to play duplo with him, kick a football about and get up to mischief together like you would expect from having a sibling around.
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She has adapted how she plays with Dylan, and if she really wants to get his attention she knows how to do this;will wave her hand in front of his face, or show him a train close by and this generally works. He also loves being spun in his chair that she has so she will often spin him in this and it is great when you can hear them both giggling away together. Its times I treasure and they really melt my heart. You learn to really treasure these moments as they are far and few between, so when they do happen they are just magical.
Sometimes though it just makes him angry and lash out. Unfortunately but also thankfully she is getting better at dodging his aggressive swings for her when she does something he doesn’t like, or want to do. She is starting to learn the signs for when he wants to play or for when he just needs left alone.

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Amellia really keeps me thinking positivly about all that is going on in our little family, yes sometimes things are really tough for her and we ensure that she gets time out to be a typical 5-year-old without having to worry about leaving if Dylan dislikes a place or whatever we have chosen to do that day but her understanding when Dylan gets overwhelmed by a place is absolutely magnificent. She will often say to me if it just me taking them to the park that she is ok with leaving if Dylan doesn’t like it when we get there.
I also really admire how proud of her brother she is, when we are out and she is talking to someone she will openly say about her brother having autism and people are generally shocked by how open she is and never quite know what to reply. She will then go on to tell them about Autism and how it affects her brother and that sometimes he will get mad, but he isn’t doing it to be mean, he just can’t understand you and doesn’t know how to tell you what he thinks.

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Yesterday she came home from school and nearly had me in tears.
She came up to me and told me that we don’t need to send Dylan to the school that we have seen for him because she is going to open a school just for children with autism. She is going to make it with a soft play room, sensory room, colouring and a room especially for Dylan with Thomas the Tank engine all over it.
Then she went on to tell us about how she will let them play most of the day so that they don’t get upset and she will try to teach them but if they get upset she will have an Ipad there for them to use to help to calm him down and they can then play letter games on it to help them to learn.

My heart melted.. My little girl amazes me everyday. She is so understanding, caring, loving and wants to just help in every way that she can.
When we explained to her that he will be a little to old when she has done she said that’s ok then mummy, because I can help other children like Dylan and he can come in and help me ❤img_4646

Dylan is so lucky to have a sister like her, and she helps him so much and wouldn’t ever be without him.
She tells me often that when I get older and I can’t look after Dylan anymore she will live with him so that she can keep him safe and make sure that he has the best life he can. She doesn’t want to get married or have any children so that she can always be there for Dylan when he needs her.

Simply put; I think he is the luckiest little brother and she is the most understanding big sister around.

-WeeOhana

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Summer Holiday Success!

These summer holidays are going fantastically!
I was so nervous about how Dylan would be with his routine being a little different, no school run in the morning and being with his sister twenty-four seven, but it is going fantastically. It seems to have came at such a perfect time.
We are all starting to understand Dylan a little more and Dylan is starting to learn that Amellia can sometimes be good fun to be around and she wont just steal his iPad or his food!


It is simply wonderful to see them playing together, interacting and laughing together. For a while Amellia found it very difficult to accept that her brother didn’t enjoy playing things how she would, or that he didn’t understand tag, taking turns or how building a tower together is fun and not to just knock over what she is building! She has learnt to adapt, she now plays with him how he understands.

They play simple things, like jumping on the sofa together (think we will replace them with trampolines), running back and forth across the room and throwing the balls about.


Amellia is a wonderful big sister, she has completely adapted how she plays with him and now knows that if she wants to play with him, she needs to enter his world rather than expecting him to understand what she wants to play.
When they are playing together she makes the same noises as him, encourages him to laugh and sneaks in little kisses and cuddles whenever she can! He really enjoys this, and will even go and take her hand whenever she stops playing to try and get her to carry on. Generally, he is pretty good at getting her to play again, he doesn’t take no for an answer and she enjoys running about like crazy and playing with her little brother.


The other day we took them both to a lovely little and quiet park. Dylan was having lots of fun doing his usual climb up the ladder and down the slide over and over again, until Amellia caught his eye. She was playing on a climbing net that spun. Instead of going back to the stairs and down the slide he went over and started running around with her spinning this, she then ran off to a see-saw and he followed and wanted to join her on this, after that she then ran off to another thing in the park and he joined her too! It was simply wonderful. There bond is growing, it took a while to start, for them both to accept each another for there differences but they seem to have really hit it off recently. As parents, this is simply wonderful.
Amellia always strived for a relationship with her brother and she is now slowly breaking down his wall and building her own with him.

I love my kids, they are simply incredible each in their own unique way. ❤

-WeeOhana

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Why telling Siblings is important

This is something that I feel quite strongly about. It is because when I was younger it was never explained to me what was going on, why my brother was treated differently, why he had his outbursts or why he treated people the way he does. Obviously back then I was very upset, felt excluded and very confused but now when I look back on how I felt I feel extremely selfish. That I really missed out because of not having someone explain to me that was going on and why he was being treated differently etc. Between me and my brother there is only one year and 8 days so we were extremely close in age and we were very bonded. I love him dearly and always will, especially now that I understand his ADHD.

Therefor I have made very sure to keep Amellia involved and updated with what is happening with her little brother. She is extremely tuned in with him though, She spotted before us things he was doing or that he wasn’t doing that she thought he would be doing. One day she compared him to a friends child who has autism, and asked if he would always be like her. She also got incredibly worried whenever he wasn’t talking and started to ask us when he would start talking or be able to say her name or anything at all. This was when we decided it was time to tell her that things were slightly different with him and that we can’t  put a time on when he will start talking or if he ever will. We are pretty sure that he will talk because he makes lots of different noises and sounds etc, but it is hard for her seeing her friends with brothers and sisters around his age talking, running about, going swimming together etc.

Whenever we explained it to her we kept it nice and simple, that he would learn in his own time and that we would all have to make changes. We didn’t say too much too her as we don’t have an official diagnosis yet and we also didn’t want to say too much and confuse her. So we told her a few things and then let her ask whatever questions she had and told her that whenever she had any questions that she could just ask us. The next day she came up to us and made me so happy she told us “mummy I don’t mind if Dylan is different, I love him anyway.” I had to sneak off to have a cry, it was just wonderful  an incredible thing for a five year old to have said.

I think it is incredibly important to tell siblings, they will then understand why you have to make differences for them, why there has to be changes and why certain activities or things they enjoy just aren’t as easy to do anymore and why when telling them off it has to done differently and allowances have to be changed.

We are incredibly lucky parents to have such an understanding daughter. If we have to leave somewhere because he doesn’t like it she is perfectly ok with that (as much as I hurt for her) if she has to wait till another day to go to the park because he is having an off day she is ok with that, if he wakes her up in the middle of the night, shes ok with that too. she will come downstairs and lay with me until we get him sorted. She really doesn’t get enough credit for how wonderful she is. I always try and make sure she gets to do the things she wants to do even if it is in a few days time, and that she gets to spend 1:1 time with one of us as much as possible so that she can go to the park and can leave when she is ready, so that she can go swimming, so that she can be a child and forget everything that is going on at home that makes her life so different to a lot of her friends.

This is the reason why I will always keep her up to date with what is going on with Dylan, so that she can feel included along the way and so that she can have as big an understanding as she can about him.
Special needs does not just change the child’s life who is living with the special need it changes everyone’s in the family.

We are all still getting used to the changes, his quirks, dislikes and likes, but we are doing it together as a family. Learning as we all go. I don’t think there has been a more relevant time to reinstate what my blog name stands for; Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

WeeOhana xxx