1

Learning Curve to friendship <3

Amellia has been working really hard on building up her relationship with Dylan. She understands that he is a little different to others and that he doesn’t enjoy touching, close contact or really playing with her. Though I’m sure you can see how this is very difficult for a five year old to have to understand, and to follow through with. This is especially hard for her as she is basically the polar opposite of Dylan!

She wants to shower him with love and care. She wants to play with him 24/7, kiss and cuddle him and have in-depth conversations about what they are building with the Duplo blocks.. but she has slowly learnt that this isn’t going to get her very high up in Dylans popularity list. When he was building she used to go over and try and help and he would get frustrated at her and hit out, I always found this very hard to watch and explain to her over and over again. She wasn’t doing it out of badness, she just wanted to play and engage with her brother like she would other children. Whenever she then came anywhere near him he would hit out, try to bite her, scream etc at her.. and he still does now but not to anywhere near the same extent. They are both learning how each other work. She knows that if she goes and does something he can’t explain to her he is happy by himself so he will shout or do something else to show her, he has also learnt that not every time she walks past him or sits near that she is going to interrupt what he is doing.

I have seen huge progress between them recently, like all of a sudden they have clicked. They understand each other that little better and she understands why he is a little different and has accepted that she needs to treat him a little differently. Friday, was a huge moment for them. We came down in the morning when they had both awoken and Dylan was pottering about and Amellia was waking up and doing some drawing on her ipad.. when Dylan tottered over to her and sat up beside her all of his own accord. She then handed him her Ipad by choice and showed him what she was doing. She knows he really enjoys drawing so straight away he started to draw, he then took his little hand and placed it on hers. The squeal of delight out of Amellia was just magical. She didn’t want to move and declared this day to me as “The best day in her whole life” This is something that she has been waiting for, for a very long time!
img_4845They then sat like this for the next ten-fifteen minutes swapping whoevers hand was on top, while I melted with happiness for my little girl. This is the connection that she has been dying to get from her little brother since he was born and finally her dreams were coming true ❤
img_4844

I had seen that the friendship was growing rather steadily recently, like something had just clicked. She seemed to know when he didn’t want fussed over but was very quick to jump in when he was in a playful mood or was doing something she could do along side him! She did a lot of running about the house beside him before he would even acknowledge that she was there, but now he is looking for her when he starts running about, its magical.

img_4560-2

The other day they had lots of fun out on the trampoline together and Dylan got very upset when she got off, so she then got back on and bounced with him again! Then before she left she handed him a bit of chalk to draw with a zipped the trampoline up so he couldn’t get off by himself! This showed to me that she understood his cry was for her to come back, she then found something to distract him before she left and she also made sure her little brother was safe and couldn’t get hurt.

img_4817
This was on Thursday, she had gotten into the car beside him, and as you can see by her face, she is being careful not to touch him too much with her arm! He stayed a minute or two longer then was ready to depart and go back to the trampoline. His most favorite thing in the garden!

They are slowly working each other out, but today has been a big step in the right direction. I couldn’t be more proud of them both. When you have your sibling who understands you and supports you, it can really help you along.  ❤

WeeOhana xx

12

Why telling Siblings is important

This is something that I feel quite strongly about. It is because when I was younger it was never explained to me what was going on, why my brother was treated differently, why he had his outbursts or why he treated people the way he does. Obviously back then I was very upset, felt excluded and very confused but now when I look back on how I felt I feel extremely selfish. That I really missed out because of not having someone explain to me that was going on and why he was being treated differently etc. Between me and my brother there is only one year and 8 days so we were extremely close in age and we were very bonded. I love him dearly and always will, especially now that I understand his ADHD.

Therefor I have made very sure to keep Amellia involved and updated with what is happening with her little brother. She is extremely tuned in with him though, She spotted before us things he was doing or that he wasn’t doing that she thought he would be doing. One day she compared him to a friends child who has autism, and asked if he would always be like her. She also got incredibly worried whenever he wasn’t talking and started to ask us when he would start talking or be able to say her name or anything at all. This was when we decided it was time to tell her that things were slightly different with him and that we can’t  put a time on when he will start talking or if he ever will. We are pretty sure that he will talk because he makes lots of different noises and sounds etc, but it is hard for her seeing her friends with brothers and sisters around his age talking, running about, going swimming together etc.

Whenever we explained it to her we kept it nice and simple, that he would learn in his own time and that we would all have to make changes. We didn’t say too much too her as we don’t have an official diagnosis yet and we also didn’t want to say too much and confuse her. So we told her a few things and then let her ask whatever questions she had and told her that whenever she had any questions that she could just ask us. The next day she came up to us and made me so happy she told us “mummy I don’t mind if Dylan is different, I love him anyway.” I had to sneak off to have a cry, it was just wonderful  an incredible thing for a five year old to have said.

I think it is incredibly important to tell siblings, they will then understand why you have to make differences for them, why there has to be changes and why certain activities or things they enjoy just aren’t as easy to do anymore and why when telling them off it has to done differently and allowances have to be changed.

We are incredibly lucky parents to have such an understanding daughter. If we have to leave somewhere because he doesn’t like it she is perfectly ok with that (as much as I hurt for her) if she has to wait till another day to go to the park because he is having an off day she is ok with that, if he wakes her up in the middle of the night, shes ok with that too. she will come downstairs and lay with me until we get him sorted. She really doesn’t get enough credit for how wonderful she is. I always try and make sure she gets to do the things she wants to do even if it is in a few days time, and that she gets to spend 1:1 time with one of us as much as possible so that she can go to the park and can leave when she is ready, so that she can go swimming, so that she can be a child and forget everything that is going on at home that makes her life so different to a lot of her friends.

This is the reason why I will always keep her up to date with what is going on with Dylan, so that she can feel included along the way and so that she can have as big an understanding as she can about him.
Special needs does not just change the child’s life who is living with the special need it changes everyone’s in the family.

We are all still getting used to the changes, his quirks, dislikes and likes, but we are doing it together as a family. Learning as we all go. I don’t think there has been a more relevant time to reinstate what my blog name stands for; Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

WeeOhana xxx

2

Puffy Paint!

Today was a hide inside from the world kind of day, to have fun with my little ones while forgetting everything that was going on! We decided that we would start the day with some sensory fun of painting with puffy paint!

Puffy paint is very simple to make, and we had all the things that we needed to make in our house! You make it with Three simple ingredients; shaving foam, pva glue & paint.
img_0607You mix together a shaving foam with the same amount of pva glue, though don’t mix it too much or too fast as it will just turn into a runny mess! Then add your paint and mix slowly again and keep adding the paint until you get it to the colour that you want!
Then thats it done, let the fun begin!

My little princess was straight into it and was having so much fun! So much so that I had to stop her from covering her whole body!
img_0626

My little man wasn’t quite so keen.. it started off fine for the first few minutes.. until he then realized that it was all over his hands and he wasn’t to keen on that! I quickly cleaned his hands then hunted out a paintbrush to try and win him back over to the idea of it!
He started to enjoy it again a bit more again then knowing that he didn’t have to touch it, and with mum stood on the side to clean his hands if he wanted it off!

He then got brave enough to paint his own hands! Though that didn’t last too long, but at least he tried it! =]

After everyone getting cleaned we enjoyed a little dance to some songs on YouTube. His little bum wriggle gets me every time, check it out!

After our dancing and painting it was then time for his nap and me and my little girl made cupcakes!
Then we all enjoyed a little cuddle when he woke up and needed a little cwtch back to sleep!

img_0634
My precious pair and I enjoyed a quiet day at home letting the news sink.

WeeOhana xx

2

Delamont Park

Today we had a lovely family day out, and you are from Northern Ireland or are over here visiting I really suggest visiting Delamont Park! It’s just a thirty minute drive from Belfast center and a five minute drive from Downpatrick It’s also a very affordable day out, we have found that many places you will go and visit cost rather a lot of money for a family of four to get in, but to get into Delamont Park was a tiny amount of £4. Which is amazing considering all that is there!

There are several different walks and are all sign posted and you also get a map whenever you go into the park which shows you where the routes go, how long they are and what you can find along the way! We opted for one of the shorter walks because we had the children with us, and we didn’t fancy having to carry little miss around the walk when her legs got tired! We went for the 4km walk, there are ones which are also shorter than this and also longer so there is a walk for everyone to do! The only thing I would say is that on the map you are given it doesn’t give you any sort of idea of the terrain, the path was excellent and very easy to push a pram along, though is very stony. I think having our baby jogger GT made it easier to push with the big wheels I’m not sure how easy a pram with slandered wheels would have been to push! My little girl found it a little difficult as a lot was uphill which we hadn’t really thought about, but she kept going with a bit of encouragement! She particularly loved seeing the sheep along the way and stopped at every one to try and entice them over with some grass..this didn’t go in her favor! Along the walk were some incredible views, and things to stop at. Several little stone beaches, a bird watching area, and many more but we were enjoying the walk so much we didn’t stop at these things, though I will make a point of ensuring we do this when we go back!

When we first arrived we started with our picnic, there was so many benches and open bits of grass to sit on so lots of space for whenever it is busy to enjoy you picnic without many around you! My little one was eager to sit on the grass and have hers, so this is what we did and had some lovely little sandwiches before we headed off on our adventure! #

After our walk we went on this wonderful little train which is designed to look like Thomas, it runs along a 1KM track and was really enjoyable! The little ones loved being on a train and really enjoyed it and I took in some of the wonderful views around while really cherishing the time we were spending together!

Next stop was the play park, what little ones don’t love parks right! Well this is one that is truly going to be enjoyed by any park lover. It is just wonderful, lots of wonderful wood climbing frames, slides, puzzles and much more. I really liked that they had a climbing frame for all ages! There was a big and a little one like you would find in more parks, but also a medium sized one too, which my little girl really enjoyed. She likes the big ones but wants you to go up them with her and with it being a bit busy, I wasn’t for climbing up with her and getting in the way of everyone! She went off and enjoyed the big one for a short while but wanted to play with her brother so spent a lot of the time on the little one with him, which was great as there was no one else on it! There was also a zip wire which she really enjoyed. As well as there being some great climbing frames/ balancing things/slides etc there was also a lot of open space to run about. My little boy really liked this as he likes to just potter about and explore the world around him rather than climbing on climbing frames and going on swings etc!

 

Beside the park there was also one of those metal gyms that are becoming increasingly popular, and there are also some of the single gym items placed along the walks too! Just in-case you were wanting to go there to jog/workout ..

We ended our day by then going out for dinner and coming home and having a lovely bath! Both the kids are now fast asleep in bed, and we are just about to settle down to watch a move! All in all we had a fantastic day and will be back to Delamont Park very soon; in fact we enjoyed it so much we are going to get the season pass so we will be visiting it many more times! I will let you know if we find anything else about in Delamont Park that we think is a must see while there.. but for now, you should really go there, enjoy the peace, views, beauty and nature. Oh & the park and the train if you have little ones with you!

Let me know if you go for a visit and what you think! =]

WeeOhana xx

 

1

Holi Fest- Belfast!

Today I took my eldest to something completely different to what we would do in our day to day life; Holi Festival!
Holi Festival is one of India’s most energetic and colorful celebration, Holi translates to colour in Hindi! The festival of colour or Holi is to celebrate the start of spring! I love Spring, who doesn’t?! The start of nicer weather, beautiful flowers everywhere and one of my favorite parts is all the baby animals. My sister Laura told me about the Holi fest and asked me if I wanted to go, I watched a quick video and knew it was somewhere myself and my daughter would love, We had to go!

We waved goodbye and left the boys to go and do the grocery shopping (Such fun!) while we were dressed in white t-shirts and ready to party and get covered in paint! We got there and up pulled my lovely sister and her friend Jools right beside us! Perfect timing or what! Off we went, a bit unsure of what to expect but knowing it would be a day full of fun!
As soon as we went through the doors my little bundle of energy just couldn’t stop moving and looking at everything, she quickly had a go on one of the rides they had and then headed to the “baby corner!” What a fantastic idea it was! It meant my sisters friend could eat in peace while we made some creations! First of all she put hand prints all over a piece of material they had on the floor, which she loved! Then on to make a lovely little bag which I will treasure forever! It has, my daughters hand print, My sisters and mine on it!
zoe_0008.jpg
How cute is that? Even better was that it was free, a lovely keepsake and kept her still for oh.. maybe three minutes? Then she made a multi-colour little flag type idea, which she loved and danced about with all day..
wp-1459718210988.jpg
As you can see.. she really has no fear or shyness in her, she just has a giant love for life and moving a lot! She loved trying to copy the dancers and was having all the fun that she could possibly have! It was then time to go and get colourful, to keep her still in the que I bribed her with a crepe and water to re-hydrate her after all the dancing and charging about in circles.. it was then time to go and cover each other!
This was all the fun and then some more, we started by just flinging it out of the corner of the bag.. that didn’t work too great! If you cup your hands and fill it with the colour powder and then throw it at each other! One thing they didn’t warn you about was the taste of it.. vile. The only way I can describe it is; have you ever sucked on the end of a ballpoint pen and then the ink exploded into your mouth? Yeah.. like that! Disgusting. So keep your eyes and mouth shut!! My next piece of advice is.. Have fun! Act silly, run about, dance and have the greatest day ever!

Look at all the smiles, colour and fun! It was a fabulous, different and wonderful day out! We will be back next year to throw more colour everywhere, dance and celebrate the start of Spring!

To top the day off.. we came home and Amellia got a bath and it turned purple which made a perfect colorful end to her day, and I have also just wrote this while eating a Cadburys Easter Egg, no better chocolate out there!

WeeOhana x

 

5

Early Christmas Present <3

My absolutely wonderful husband treated me to the most amazing early Christmas present!

wpid-img_20151102_090910.jpg

Nutmeg. My new beautiful baby! We call her Meg, but I choose Nutmeg as she is the same kind of colour as Nutmeg and it reminds me of chirstmas and she was a christmas present! As soon as I went to see her, I knew that she would be part of my ohana! Infact.. as soon as I saw the advert for her I fell in love! My sister had recently bought Megs foal and I had went up to see her with my sister and she is such a lovely a horse, my sister has called her Cub! When I saw her I thought she was lovely, super friendly and just beautiful! So as soon as the advert for Meg was up my sister tagged me in it, and I just knew straight away I had to go and see her!

This is my sisters horse Cub;
wpid-sam_1942.jpg

Aren’t they both just simply beautiful?

Meg is stabled in a beautiful livery yard just a five minuite drive from my house which is just super! All the people there seem super lovely and I have already started to make friends there which is super, as I am sure that other mums reading this know that it is pretty hard to try and “find” friends whenever you are with them, you always end up being “whoevers mum” and just chat in the playground really! At least thats how I find it!

Getting Meg has already started to really help me, I have had a pretty tough year this year and discovered a few things about myself which are always going to affect me, so having an outlet and somewhere for me to relax and get some “me time” is just fantastic! Not only that but she is so calm and loving! She hasn’t been in my life that long but we have got an obvious bond already! She chases me about the sand-school whenever I run about with her and is always so happy to see me, she is just wonderful! She has only recently been broken, but is very quiet and willing to please! Meg is coming on leaps and bonds and I myself can’t even believe how quickly she is progressing! I think as she is building my confidence I am building hers which is perfect really! The next thing to tackle is jumping.. may wait until my sister is with me to do that though 😛

Meg is a 14.3hh Welsh x Haflinger and is just simply beautiful! Has a wonderful nature and no badness, Well maybe likes to shove you a little, but she will soon learn =D

Here are some more pictures of my beautiful girl!
wpid-imag6934.jpgwpid-imag7007.jpgwpid-wp-1447704170272.jpeg

Do any of you have a horse/pony? I would love to see a picture and hear some advice!
Seems my Wee Ohana, is getting a bit bigger pretty quickly!
WeeOhana xx

 

6

Right or Wrong?

This was something that someone said to me a while ago, but I was talking about it with a friend recently and I thought I would write a little blog and see what you guys thought about it!

What does Marriage mean to you?
The Oxford dictionary gives it the definition as “The legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman (or, in some jurisdictions, two people of the same sex) as partners in a relationship:

To me, marriage is something that you do whenever you really love someone. It’s a way of showing someone that you love them so much that you can’t imagine or want to think of life without them. You love them unconditionally and want to be with them for the rest of your life.
What would you say marriage means to you?

The reason I ask is that my little girl has told us since her brother was a week old, that they will get married, and she can’t wait to wear a pretty dress. She likes to play weddings and pretend to get married to him, they then have to have a fancy dinner and dance. She was at my wedding you see, that is why she is clued in! 😛

I personally, find it absolutely beautiful. To me it shows how great her love is for him and how much she cares and cherishes him! I never tell her not to say it, I never tell her that she can’t or that it is wrong. She is three, does she really need to know that she can’t, she will learn that as she grows. Should I really tell her that it is wrong? Taint the way that she views it all? Because to me.. Marriage really is about love, and if she thinks this and this is her way of telling us just how much she loves her brother, why should I tell her off? Surely it will just confuse her little innocent mind?

One of my husbands friends partner was over our house whenever my little girl announced to her that she was going to marry her brother. This woman then started to say in a loud and horrible voice “You can’t do that, that is disgusting thing to say” “That is incest” “ewww” and the such… she then started to say to me “how can you let her say that?” i politely replied with “Personally I think its pretty cute actually, she really loves him.” When they then left I said to my husband about it and how I thought that her even saying that to my daughter was completely wrong, that if she didn’t agree with that she should have just ignored it and let us handle with it, if we thought it needed dealt with.

Thankfully my daughter just ignored her and asked me what did she say and I just said that she was talking to mummy.

I remember when I was younger I wanted to get a big house and live with my brother and sister forever on a farm. I wanted to marry my brother at some stage too! Not a clue why mind you… hes a bit .. different! 😛

Though I was just wondering what was your view on this? Am I in the wrong, is it completely disgusting? Or is it just a lovely way of her expressing her feelings and how much she loves him?

WeeOhana x