0

Normal? I think not!

I read something really odd on a Facebook group today. A lady was asking the group that because she is a stay at home mum her fellow thinks that when he comes home from work he gets to watch whatever he wants, chill on the sofa ignoring the children and what they want to watch and relax. She then makes dinner while he watch’s what he wants then she spends the evening watching his programs. She wanted to know if this was normal behaviour! What do you think? What happens in your house?

I personally think this is absolutely ludicrous! Firstly my little girl would not let my hubby come in and just chill on the sofa without jumping on him, quizzing him about his day and everything he did then filling him in with what she has done when he was at work. Then if he was to turn off the program they were watching, I’m sure there would be a fight! My reaction would also not be very pleasant! He has been at work all day, and yes I know that he works very hard etc and I’m not belittling that at all, but his kids want to see him. He should also want to see them too and share his experiences of the day and enjoy hearing what they have done!

Also I feel that a lot of stay at home parents really do not get enough credit! It is hard work, very hard work, it is enjoyable but tough. So why should one get to come in and just relax and forget about everything when the other has been at home with the children all day! Least the working one gets out of the house and some time away!

As for the who gets to pick what they watch at night.. in my house we are generally pretty good at deciding together. We generally have a series that we are watching together so will watch a few episodes or if we fancy a movie we will pick together! Obviously sometimes there are things that my hubby really wants to watch so I let him watch and vice versa but generally its a mutual decision with what goes on the T.V!
Why should one of us get priority?
We are both equal, not one better than the other.

WeeOhana xx

7

Treat Day!

We try to ensure that Amellia gets to go out at least once a month with one us to do whatever she wants. Sometimes she picks swimming, other times clothes shopping but something she always picks is to go out for dinner! She loves her food and unfortunately going out for dinner as a family is something that we don’t do very often at all as Dylan is not a good eater, and all the noises, bright lights, people and smells just send him into meltdown.
Before Dylan was even born this was something that we had decided we would make sure we did, I think its important for all children to get a chance to do whatever they want for a day, have all the attention on them and be made to feel as special and wonderful as they are!
It is even more important to us now with everything that we are going through with Dylan as I don’t want her to miss out on all the typical “kid” things that he wouldn’t particularly enjoy. I also don’t want her to grow up resenting her brother because she didn’t get to do things she wanted to because of him. We try our best to do things as a family but it is tough, and I don’t like taking her out and having to say her to her that if Dylan doesn’t like it we have to go. She is wonderful with him though because if I take them to the park and he starts to get  upset she will come over to me and say “ok mummy time to go!” As much as this is wonderful, it’s not fair on a five-year old.

On our day out she decided she wanted to start with lunch at Little Wing Pizzeria! What a wonderful little spot, I love it. I am simply a huge pizza fan and they make exceptionally delicious ones! When we sat down she was super excited to pick off the menu herself and then get to colouring it in! She chose the minestrone soup as she liked the sound of it coming in a cup! When it arrived it was super cute in a teeny tiny cup, and she dove right in. Unfortunately though she wasn’t a big fan of this soup but to make it an even better experience the girl serving us then got her dough sticks  instead which she quickly devoured! Not only was this fantastic customer service but when she brought her over the dough sticks she told Amellia that is was great to try new things and that she was a super girl for trying the soup!
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whilst we waited for our mains then we got a chance to colour in the menu, it was wonderful! They had little bits for you to draw what you thought certain things would eat and a picture for you to find other items in and colour them in, she had a lot of fun doing this and got really excited when she found the things we were looking for in the picture! She had lasagna for her main and she really loved it, she ate it all up and enjoyed it so much!


One of her favourite parts of the dinner was getting an ice cream and a little mini hot chocolate in another tiny little cup! Unfortunately I didn’t take any pictures of these but they were just adorable! She also loved the fact that she got to have coke with her lunch and thought it was super special that it was in a glass bottle and not a little plastic cup!
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She then wanted to do a spot of shopping, so we popped into a few of her favourite shops and picked up a few bits and pieces. We then headed home and told her daddy and brother all that we had been up to and how she can’t wait to go there again!

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Ohh, I forgot to also tell you how wonderfully delicious my dinner was from Little Wing too, one of my favourite things that they do is there spicy cheesy bread for starters! I then had one of their pizzas for main which was just super as always.. I can’t remember exactly what one it was..doh.. but I do remember that it was yummy! We will certainly be back soon, I can’t wait for my next day out with her.
She is simply wonderful and really does not get enough credit ❤

Do you try to take your kids out on their own if you have more than one?
What do they love to do?

WeeOhana xx

 

 

 

0

Q & A for my five year old!

When my daughter was three I asked her some questions and the answers really made me giggle, You can check them out here! So I thought I would do it again today now she is 5 just to see how her answers had changed!
Here is the end result;

Without any prompting, ask your child these questions and write down exactly what they say. Its a great way to find out what they really think

1. What is something mum always says to you ?
Chicken
(Her nickname)

2. What makes you happy?
When daddy makes me laugh

3. How does mum make you laugh?
By being really silly

4. What makes mum sad?
When I don’t snuggle you

5. What was mum like as a child?
Cute

6. How old is mum?
21
(24)

7. How tall is mum?
Taller than me

8. What is mums favorite thing to do?
Having a mummy, daughter day

9. What does mum do when you’re not around?
Read her book

10. What is your mum really good at?
Looking after me & Dylan

11. What is mum not really good at?
Not good at making special breakfasts.. Daddy always does this

12. What does your mum do for a job?
Keeps me & Dylan happy

13. What is your mums favorite food?
Sandwiches

14. What makes you proud of your mum?
When she does magic tricks
(I didn’t know I could do magic tricks!)

15. What do you and your mum do together?
Have girly nights when daddy is at work

16. How are you and your mum the same?
We have brown hair and brown eyes

17. How are you and your mum different?
We dress differently

18. How do you know mum loves you?
Because she kisses me and gives me hugs and tells me

19. What does mum like most about dad?
He looks after me and Dylan good

20. Where’s mum favorite place to go?
Going to Next with me and buying me clothes

21. How old was mummy when she had you?
13
(19)

 

Why not ask your children and see what they say! Its pretty funny to hear there take on simple things! =] Let me know if you do I would love to check it out!
WeeOhana

2

Dear Husband..

Dear Husband;
You are simply amazing. I don’t tell you often enough how wonderful you are, how strong you keep us as a family unit and just how much I love you. This past year has been a very tough one for our family, life changing things have appeared that we never thought we would have to face. We have faced some real challenge as a couple learning to accept the things that have been thrown in our path. I feel that we are now a lot stronger than we were before, and we will continue to build up skywards, together.

I must admit at the start of all this we grew apart, drastically. It really scared me, I didn’t know how I would make it through all this without you by my side as support. I thought we were going down a long and horrible road, and we were going to have to do it apart. All of this coupled with my issues that I have, has been extremely scary, I felt very low and because of this started to push you even further away and I honestly don’t know how you stuck by my side. You didn’t deserve it, and it made us argue, disagree, row and everything else a happily married couple should not do. It was horrible, I hated myself more and more, but I just couldn’t get out of that rut. I still find some days tough and I’m sure you do too, even though being a manly man that you are you don’t admit it.

I am so glad now that we are stronger than we have ever been and that we tackling everything thrown at us together. You are my best friend, my soul mate, my shoulder to cry on, my companion, the one who laughs at my stupid jokes, helps me spell silly words that I just can’t grasp, you make me smile when it has been tough day, cuddle me when there just isn’t any words to explain what I am feeling or what is going on in my head. You make the world seem a little less scary, you hold my hand when times are tough, you help me relax when things are getting on top of me, you guide me when I just can’t guide myself, you make me feel beautiful even when I am wearing the same clothes that I had on when you left for work, you give me the confidence to carry on, you give me the strength to keep my head above water when it feels like I could so easily slip under and you make me feel loved; when I just can’t understand how anyone could.

I really can’t thank you enough for all that you do, you accepted me for who I am and took both me and my wonderful daughter under your wing and treat us like royalty (most of the time ;]) You are the greatest father I could ask for my children. You always put them first and make sure they are happy and have everything they could ever dream of.
We all really love you and couldn’t do this without you.
You, are simply incredible.
My 1 in 7 billion.
My best friend.
My husband.

12

Why telling Siblings is important

This is something that I feel quite strongly about. It is because when I was younger it was never explained to me what was going on, why my brother was treated differently, why he had his outbursts or why he treated people the way he does. Obviously back then I was very upset, felt excluded and very confused but now when I look back on how I felt I feel extremely selfish. That I really missed out because of not having someone explain to me that was going on and why he was being treated differently etc. Between me and my brother there is only one year and 8 days so we were extremely close in age and we were very bonded. I love him dearly and always will, especially now that I understand his ADHD.

Therefor I have made very sure to keep Amellia involved and updated with what is happening with her little brother. She is extremely tuned in with him though, She spotted before us things he was doing or that he wasn’t doing that she thought he would be doing. One day she compared him to a friends child who has autism, and asked if he would always be like her. She also got incredibly worried whenever he wasn’t talking and started to ask us when he would start talking or be able to say her name or anything at all. This was when we decided it was time to tell her that things were slightly different with him and that we can’t  put a time on when he will start talking or if he ever will. We are pretty sure that he will talk because he makes lots of different noises and sounds etc, but it is hard for her seeing her friends with brothers and sisters around his age talking, running about, going swimming together etc.

Whenever we explained it to her we kept it nice and simple, that he would learn in his own time and that we would all have to make changes. We didn’t say too much too her as we don’t have an official diagnosis yet and we also didn’t want to say too much and confuse her. So we told her a few things and then let her ask whatever questions she had and told her that whenever she had any questions that she could just ask us. The next day she came up to us and made me so happy she told us “mummy I don’t mind if Dylan is different, I love him anyway.” I had to sneak off to have a cry, it was just wonderful  an incredible thing for a five year old to have said.

I think it is incredibly important to tell siblings, they will then understand why you have to make differences for them, why there has to be changes and why certain activities or things they enjoy just aren’t as easy to do anymore and why when telling them off it has to done differently and allowances have to be changed.

We are incredibly lucky parents to have such an understanding daughter. If we have to leave somewhere because he doesn’t like it she is perfectly ok with that (as much as I hurt for her) if she has to wait till another day to go to the park because he is having an off day she is ok with that, if he wakes her up in the middle of the night, shes ok with that too. she will come downstairs and lay with me until we get him sorted. She really doesn’t get enough credit for how wonderful she is. I always try and make sure she gets to do the things she wants to do even if it is in a few days time, and that she gets to spend 1:1 time with one of us as much as possible so that she can go to the park and can leave when she is ready, so that she can go swimming, so that she can be a child and forget everything that is going on at home that makes her life so different to a lot of her friends.

This is the reason why I will always keep her up to date with what is going on with Dylan, so that she can feel included along the way and so that she can have as big an understanding as she can about him.
Special needs does not just change the child’s life who is living with the special need it changes everyone’s in the family.

We are all still getting used to the changes, his quirks, dislikes and likes, but we are doing it together as a family. Learning as we all go. I don’t think there has been a more relevant time to reinstate what my blog name stands for; Ohana means family, and family means nobody gets left behind or forgotten.

WeeOhana xxx

0

Small things that mean so much!

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To some this wouldn’t seem like such a big thing, to me and my family it was huge and wonderful!

My little girl was sitting eating her breakfast as normal at her little red table in the kitchen, she had decided that she wanted Rice Krispies with no milk on them. Little man was happy pottering about after having his very runny and no lumps porridge, then he walked up to see what his sister was eating. I was just about to move him away before he decided that his sister was better eating her Rice Krispies one by one off the floor but he was watching her eat them very closely so I thought I would wait and see! He then swiftly pushed her off the seat and sat down on it and just as I was about to intervene he picked up the spoon and started eating the Rice Krispies! Eating them like he had done it every morning!

I was so stunned! I was waiting for my little girl to stand up and starting shouting about how he was eating her breakfast and the such, but she stood up and started to clap and shout about how Dylan was eating proper food and was using a spoon! She thought it was just fantastic and ran upstairs to get her daddy to come and see, he came running downstairs and we all cheered and clapped him while telling him he was such a clever boy! He took no notice of us and continued to eat and eat, until the whole bowl was empty! What an incredible day, it was just simply wonderful! I couldn’t believe it, we couldn’t believe it. It has given me great hope for the future and his eating! We have to take it step by step and at his speed and he will hopefully continue to show us like today when he is ready to try something new!

It reminded me of something that I have been saying a lot recently; that every child,every adult has there own goals to meet and there own milestones. If we all met our milestones at the same time, life would be very boring wouldn’t it!
No matter how big or small your goals seem to others for you or you children, they are worth celebrating and being very proud of. Some people wont ever understand, but they aren’t worth worrying about for two seconds.

Today I am celebrating and rejoicing in my little man trying a new food, and using a spoon all out of his own choice! =D What a wonderful day!
What are you celebrating today? =]

WeeOhana x

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4

Horse Fun & Sensory Exploring!

Dylan absolutely loves horses. People always say that animals are great therapy for little ones,  but you really have to experience the joys that it brings them to understand! Whenever he is around my horse he is the most vocal, happiest little fellow around. Obviously anything that makes him vocal and making different noises is a very big plus, and hopefully will in time help him to form words!
Normally I only will take him to the horse if my husband is with me so that he can stand with him and walk around whilst I muck out and do all the fun things but as he was working and Dylan was wide awake I thought I would try and get most of the things done with him if he would play ball!

I left him in the car while I put Meg out as I didn’t want to have to carry him and walk her, just incase! It was also raining and no body likes getting soaked! I brought the wheelbarrow round and forks and then got him from the car, I knew he would either love it or hate it straight away, and it went the best way possible! He loved it, infact he seemed to be having the most fun I have seen him have in a long time!

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Look at that little face! He was so joyful, and even better was that he was touching things and picking up things he would normally go mad at even the thought of it being near him! He was picking up shavings.. and yes I made sure there was no poo in site and he stuck to the clean shavings! I couldn’t believe it, he was picking them up and throwing them into the wheelbarrow and laughing as he did it! He didn’t mind the feeling of the shavings in his hands or shoes! He was having the time of his life, we then walked round to empty the wheelbarrow and he loved pushing it.. although it did take a lot longer than normal to get it round!

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We then went on to make Megs food, I expected this to be a task trying to keep him in the room while I made them but he loved it! He was helping me mix the foods together, pouring the scoop in and even more amazingly, he took a bite out of the carrot that I gave him to put in  her food! He bit into a carrot, he didn’t start screaming, or licking his hand to get the taste and texture away, he just happily then placed it into her food! How incredible was it that he did this! He is still very much so on 10+month food, and biscuits! I couldn’t believe it! He was making so many different little noises too, of enjoyment! Noises I haven’t ever heard him make before, it was amazing as I’m sure you can understand!
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We then went onto fill the haynets, and I really couldn’t get over everything that was happening already and hay really does feel pretty spikey and odd, not really something you would feel in everyday situations! He impressed me even more and went on to pull out the hay and put it into the nets, I couldn’t get over it.
It was like he was getting so much enjoyment out of doing something that he loved, he forgot all about textures and everything! I couldn’t get over it and I still cant!
After we had done all the jobs he took me by the hand and walked me down to her field to go and see her. I kept saying to him when we have finished doing all the jobs we will go and see her, and it was almost like he was focused on getting the jobs done (very happily) to be able to go and see her. We then went down to her field, and he was overjoyed! Laughing away, hugging her, stroking her, and every time she sniffed him or even moved he was laughing away! We stood with her for about 30 mins, she was coming over and sniffing then running off, he loved it when she trotted off and did a big roll. I think it was the funniest thing he has ever seen, he ended up with hiccups he ended up laughing at her so much! When it was time to go, he wasn’t very pleased! Though we really needed to get going to get his sister from school!

I am going to make a big point of taking him up to see her a lot more, maybe not quite everyday as it does slow the whole process down and I can’t ride when he is there but it really did the world of good for him, I just couldn’t get over it!
To end this wonderfully happy & uplifting post here is some pictures of my girls! ❤

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WeeOhana xx